Behind the smile

Mistakes

I have always been afraid to make mistakes and along with that, to admit when I was wrong. I guess that's related because if you don't allow yourself to make any mistakes. It gets harder to acknowledge them when you do. The prospect of disappointing someone and possibly changing their perception of you is the most terrifying thing to me. I was always under pressure sometimes it was someone else's fault, and sometimes it was all my fault. It is impossible to be perfect all of the time; believe me, you will eventually break. I've spent so much time trying to keep all the pain at bay. The pain, all the negative emotions, but it's not worth it and it is difficult for men to express their emotions and when we do and express ourselves they refer to us as weak and soft-hearted. Everything has been coming out all at once lately, and I've felt so stressed out and clueless that the only thing I could do was shut down all my previous mistakes, and I was afraid, afraid to fail, to have flaws, to end up alone. When I'm feeling down, I always avoid problems because I know I can't handle anything more than what I'm going through. I avoided relationships because I haven't fully recovered from the last one and don't want to make the same mistake again and break another heart. Unfortunately, pain is always a part of it. The crying, doubts, and anger are all-natural and will occur no matter how far you try to avoid them. No happiness is ever given without effort.