Behind the smile

Depression

We've all had times when we wished we could stop breathing that our hearts would stop pounding, that we could close our eyes and not wake up, that our pain would end and disappear. When you feel that you are no longer loved by your surroundings, that you don't deserve death but rather want it so badly, but something prevents you from cutting the rope that binds you to this pain. It is an unidentified sensation that begins with a vague feeling that you are ill and do not want to get out of bed. When you feel bad and sad, your thoughts start racing. You just hope it's only for a day and that this pain will go away by tomorrow, but it won't. Perhaps you're now stuck in this terrific feeling and feel so weak that you can't fight it and just give up. It will become a drug that you will take today, tomorrow, and afterwards, and you will find yourself in trouble when you discover that he was taking a piece of you. Until there is nothing left, at which point you will become heartless and numb to the pain. You put on a fake smile to show the world that you're fine, but no one knows how you feel on the inside or how much pain you're enduring. Sometimes you feel like venting to people and get solutions to your problems, but you are insecure and take a step back, afraid of being judged for what you are going through. Your ego plays a significant role in changing your decisions and accepting the fact that you will live your entire life sad or attempting something that may physically and mentally harm you. You lose the taste for life, you stop eating food the way you used to, you notice that its flavor has changed, and you no longer want to go on. You will no longer be terrified of death. As it has now become clear to you as an escape that will relieve all of the pressure you are under.