I was hurt beyond repair that day
It was then that I said what I had to say
Too long I had spent, admiring from a far
Too long I had spent, wishing upon a star
We could have been perfect, paired eternal
I laid my cards on the table, my heart external
He was everything I could have ever hoped for
But he broke my heart and kept lying more and more
Yet he was different from the others
He used to love me more than anyone
But times things weren't going well, I suffered
Now I want nothing more than to forget and overcome
I would be happy in the end, then, and only then
I shut out my thoughts lest they be spoken again
My friends, some stayed and others left me
I knew it was only a matter of time until it happened, being free
I was broken beyond repair and escape was imminent, seeing him
I couldn't bear to look him in the eyes one last time
I wasn't me; I was the monster I'd become
Wanted nothing more than to be comfortably numb
I was driven to desperation, my mind lost
It was too late now, the line was crossed
Took the razor to my wrist and let my pain ease out
I would float away, forget what I was worried about
Too many times I had been deeply hurt
Too many times I was laid in the dirt
He was the first to love me with all of his heart
I don't know if I'm ready for a new start
He might change, but I'm not sure about that
I don't want to get hurt again like the last time
But does he love me after all these years passed?
If I gave him a chance, would he comeback?
I don't know anything about him lately
Is he with someone else?
Did he change or still the same?
YOU ARE READING
Behind the smile
PoetryMy pen is my release It's an orgasm to my soul -A collection of poetry and articles about my personal experience with depression.