BTS One Shots {REQUESTS OPEN}

Namkook - Ace of 3rd Base

Panting, Jungkook turns onto his side to face his boyfriend, who seems to be in a similar state - breathless, his hair drenched in sweat, skin shining. Yet still, something seems off about him.

It's something about how he was while they were being intimate. He didn't seem as engaged as he usually is. Sure, it could just be stress, but he's not the type to bottle up his feelings. If he has a problem, he always tells Jungkook. But... what's going on?

"Hyung, I think we should talk about something."

Namjoon, completely oblivious to his boyfriend noticing his unusual behaviour, nods, wrapping an arm around the cherry-haired male's shoulders to hold him close as he strokes his arm gently.

"While we were having sex, you didn't really seem into it... Are you okay?"

Suddenly anxious, the taller nods, then shakes his head and looks desperately at his boyfriend. "Y'know how I took that tablet a little while ago 'cause I said my back was hurting?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, it wasn't actually a painkiller, and my back's fine." Joon sighs, hiding his face in his pillow as he flushes bright red. "I-It was Viagra."

"Oh." Jungkook immediately grows concerned. "Have you been having... problems?"

"Kinda, yeah. I just... I don't want to have sex. Doesn't matter where I am, who I'm with, what I'm doing, I never want to. But I wanted to make you happy, so I told my doctor I was having problems and he prescribed them for me."

"Hyungie," the younger frowns and runs a hand through his lover's hair. "You don't have to force yourself into anything. If you weren't into it, all you had to do was tell me."

"But I feel like I have to do something for you, Kook. You have needs, and I really want to be able to help you with them, but it's just really difficult because I don't have them."

"You don't have to do anything if you don't want to. It doesn't matter how I feel, all that matters is how you feel."

The brunet looks up, tears brimming in his eyes. "A-Am I broken?"

"Joonie, of course not." whispers the other, pulling him into a hug. "Sex doesn't make us whole, so how could you ever be broken?"

They sit there for a moment, holding one another tightly, and Jungkook spends the entire time just trying to calm the elder down, whispering softly to him, rubbing his back, kissing his neck chastely, before pulling back slightly.

"Do you know what the most important sex organ is?" he questions, causing the elder to shake his head. He ruffles the latter's hair gently. "Your brain. If you don't listen to what your brain's telling you, how can you be aware of what you're feeling? If you're not feeling good about it, then you shouldn't do it."

Hugging him again, he lets a hushing sound escape his lips, which seems to soothe Namjoon's trembling and halt his tears.

"Would you feel better if we could find a label for what you're feeling?"

Sniffling, the elder nods sheepishly. Jungkook smiles reassuringly and pulls away, slipping out of bed. He takes a pair of boxers out of one of the dresser drawers and puts them on, then grabs a second pair and throws them onto the bed for his boyfriend. He disappears from the room for a few moments, a determined spring in his step, then returns with his laptop. He sits back down and sets it down between the two of them, then opens it.

"We'll take a look," he says, kissing Joon's cheek. "I'm sure we'll find something."

After a while of detailed searching, consulting blogs and information sites and the like, they find something that seems to fit what Namjoon's been feeling. Not experiencing any kind of sexual attraction towards anyone, it doesn't make him a freak, doesn't mean he's broken - it means he's asexual.

It's apparently quite a common thing. There's a whole community of asexual people online, and the way they describe it is exactly how Namjoon feels. After so long spent questioning himself and his sexuality, he finally feels like there's an answer to it all. Countless questions he's asked himself while lying awake at night, all answered in a matter of minutes.

"Hyungie, can I tell you something?"

Almost on the verge of tears again, the elder nods and squeezes his hands together.

"You're valid." Jungkook wipes the male's eyes using his thumbs. "You're accepted, you aren't alone, and I love you so much."

"Thank you," the brunet's voice breaks as he speaks, and he accepts a peck on the lips. "I love you too, Kookie."