BTS One Shots {REQUESTS OPEN}

Namgi - Gone

Contains:

- smut (slight reference, not a full scene)

- fluff

- mentions of death

Plot: One of Namjoon and Yoongi's best friends passed away recently, leaving everyone in a near-constant state of mourning. But since it happened, Namjoon hasn't let a single tear go - and honestly, Yoongi's worried about him.

Story:

"Are you sure you wanna do this? If you're not ready, there's no rush."

"No," Jungkook shakes his head, wiping his puffy eyes using the sleeve of his hoodie. "If I don't do it today, I'm afraid I'll never do it."

"Alright, well take your time." Namjoon gives a gentle smile and reaches to touch his shoulder. A couple of months ago, Jungkook's boyfriend Hoseok was involved in a bike accident. He was riding home from work, having recently gotten into fitness and bought a bicycle, when a car came barrelling towards him, sending him flying off his bike and onto the road. He was pronounced dead on arrival by the ambulance crew, and Jungkook found out just 20 minutes later.

"And if there's anything we can do," Yoongi tells his friend, hugging him tightly. "Just tell us. Day, night, anytime. Just pick up the phone."

Together, the three of them begin sorting through Hoseok's things, deciding what they're keeping, what they're throwing away, and what they're donating to charity. It's a pretty even split, and some of the things that Jungkook don't want, the elders put aside to take home themselves.

That night...

"A-Ah, Namjoon-ah!"

"Mm, you're a good boy, Yoonie." praises the younger, his voice nothing above a whisper as he leaves a trail of soft kisses across his boyfriend's jaw and down his neck.

There's a little silence, both males staring lovingly into one another's eyes as they catch their breath, before they shift so they're both lying down and holding each other.

"Hey," Yoongi whispers, leaning forward to kiss the taller's nose. "It's been a while since Hobi went, and you haven't cried yet. It's okay to be sad, y'know."

"I know, I know. It's just... I am sad, I just haven't shown it. I've been busy, making sure everyone's doing okay and all that. I mean, helping Jungkook earlier... He really needs us right now."

"Alright," says the brunet, yet he doesn't sound entirely convinced. "Just don't feel like you can't show your sadness, okay?"

"I promise, baby."

A few days later...

Yawning into his sleeve, Yoongi pushes open the front door and stands back against it once he's inside. Today was spent helping Jungkook bring some of Hoseok's old stuff to various charities, as well as triaging more of it. And as a result, he's come home with a few things that the younger didn't want - pictures, a jacket, a few other bits and pieces.

But something alerts him. Something he's hardly ever heard before, making it all the more worrying. Suddenly, his priority isn't getting in and going to bed, it's finding the source of the noise - the gentle whimpering that resonates throughout the apartment - and fixing it.

"Joonie-ah?" he calls out, stepping warily as he searches for his boyfriend.

He finally finds him in the living room, curled up on the couch as he holds a piece of fabric to his face. From a distance, he can't tell exactly what it is, but as he gets closer, he sees that it's one of Hoseok's old t-shirts.

"Baby, what's wrong?" he whispers, approaching the younger male and taking a seat beside him. The raven-haired doesn't speak, hands shaking as he sobs into the yellow fabric. All he's done since the funeral is take care of everyone else, put others first, and now it's all just too much for him. He needs to let go.

"It's okay, it's okay," Yoongi pulls him into a tight hug, kissing his neck, and lets Joon cry against his shoulder. "I'm here, sweetheart."

"I-I can't do it..."

"Can't do what?"

"I can't let go of him!" Namjoon sobs. "I just... I wake up every day and want to see him. I want him to be right next to me, laughing and smiling like he always does, but I know that's not gonna happen..."

"It's okay to cry, Joon. It's perfectly okay to cry."

Neither speak. It's entirely silent, save for the taller male's crying, and time slows, each second feeling like a year. And in that time, a realisation. Hoseok's gone. He's gone, and he's never coming home.

Why did it have to be him? He was always smiling, always happy, understanding, and he never had an unkind word to say to anyone. So why him? Why was it his life that had to be ripped away, like a most delicate flower that was torn from its meadow before having its chance to bloom?

As much as they want it all to be a dream, to wake up and find Hoseok back in his apartment with Jungkook, they both know that's not going to happen. He's not coming back, but they can't mope around forever. It's not what he would've wanted.

"C'mere," whispers the shorter, running his fingers through his boyfriend's soft black locks. "Let it all out, doll."

They continue like this for a little while before separating, and even then, they aren't that far apart. It's moments like these when they realise how much they mean to one another, and how distraught they'd be if one of them was in Jungkook's situation and the other in Hoseok's. They need to treat every day as a gift, because they don't know how long they'll have left together.

"I miss him so fucking much, Yoon." mumbles the younger. "I just want him to come back."

"I know, but he's not going to. It's okay to be sad, but you can't let things like this stop you from living your life. We'll slow things down for a little while, take some time to grieve, and then we'll move on, but we're never going to forget him. If Hoseok could talk to you, what would he say?"

"He'd want me to be happy?"

"Exactly," Yoongi kisses his forehead gently. "He wouldn't want you, or any of us for that matter, to dwell on his death, and even though it might seem difficult, we'll get through it. All of us - me, you, Jungkook, all of our friends - are gonna get through it together."

Wiping his eyes with his sleeve, the ebon gives a nod. "You're right. Hobi would want us to make the most of life, and he'd want for us to continue his legacy. Or at least create one for him."

"Well, he wanted to raise a family with Jungkook, didn't he? Three kids, one dog, a couple of hamsters, that's all he wanted. So if we give Jungkook some time, let him get over it, provide support and anything else he might need, then maybe we can talk to him about it. And for now, y'know what we should keep in mind?"

Joon looks up, cocking his head slightly. "What?"

"Life goes on, let's live on."