Desire

Page 31

31.

"Whoooah... Could he be?

Nah, of course not.

He's an asshole, but he loves Stephanie. They're happy, right?"

All of these things ran through my head and as bad as I wanted to send a picture to Stephanie and break her heart, I had enough shit of my own going on.

Angel and his possible secret family made their way into the store and I drove off. The whole ride was filled with anxiousness, fear, confusion, guilt and a list of other shit that I just didn't need to feel.

I made it to the hotel and called Frank to get the room number.

"Hello?"

"Hey! I'm here, what's the room number?"

"1211"

"On my way up"

I made my way up to the room, where I was greeted by Frank, who smelled of whisky and looked like hell.

"Hi Frank"

"Deysire, mmm... You look nice"

I wanted to lighten the mood, I said

"Let me have what you've had because it's obviously working."

He walked back over to the chair at the table that held 3 liquor bottles, one which was empty.

"Pick one" he said in a slurred tone

I walked over and took a shot of cognac.

"Wheeeew, that's strong" I let out.

I sat in the other chair opposite of Frank.

"What's up?" I asked

He looked at me with red and glossy eyes and said "funny how life works, huh? She was just smiling at me yesterday morning and the whole time, she was thinking about taking her own life?"

I looked away to avoid him seeing my eyes water. I said "life is strange" as my voice began to break.

He continued "Deysire, I don't regret you. I just wish that I had paid more attention to her, maybe I would have noticed. She was always happy with me, even when I made her feel like she wasn't enough. She knew that I was broken but that woman carried the weight of all of my demons even when they were weighing her down." He looked at me with tears in his eyes.

"Did I do this? Did I weigh her down?" He cried.

I walked over to him, kneeled down and grabbed his tear filled face and said

"You have flaws but you did not do this. Life is hard. We deal differently. Some people sing, you're drinking and me? Well, I'm all over the place" I smiled, with tears now running down my face. "Roberta reached a point where she felt her only escape was to end it all. I know you wish that you could have saved her but you couldn't, she was just tired. I hate that she went that way but you just said she was happy to have you. She loved you."

He grabbed me and pulled me close, at that very moment my phone started to ring, it was Keith. I ignored it and turned my ringer off.

Frank said "stay with me tonight."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else tonight" I assured him.

He walked to the restroom. I quickly checked my phone, keith had sent two texts

"I won't be home"

"Call me"

I closed the messages and sat on the bed waiting for Frank to return.

He came out and joined me on the bed, where he placed his head on my lap.

It was awkward silence, I decided to make conversation.

"How's Angel?"

Frank replied "not good. Stephanie said he left last night, said he just wanted to be alone."

I couldn't believe it. He clearly wasn't alone today. I simply replied

"I understand".