Desire

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I couldn’t believe this but didn’t want to discourage her.

“Amanda, what?”

“Girl, yes.” she bragged, turning the liquor bottle up.

“He was at the office, looking sad and I offered him a meal. He initially declined and I bugged him until he said yes. He came over and one thing led to another, and girl I was shaking from his oral skills.”

“Amanda, I don’t think you should do that again.” I suggested.

“Why not? His wife is dead and I am single. We’ve been at it since then. Girl, he can’t get enough of me.”

“Amanda, I think you've made a big mistake.”

“Oh, GOD! Here you go, always lecturing me. Dee, just be happy for me. I think he could be the one.”

I didn’t want to discourage her. We were under the influence and I knew that she’d get defensive so I said “I’m happy for you.”

She continued to go on and on about him. I listened. Eventually, she fell asleep on the couch. I was hurt for her. She had no idea what kind of monster she had fallen for. I understood but I was so upset with him. “Why would he do that to her?”.

If I didn’t have the courage to take Frank down before, I definitely had it now.  The only way to get close to him would be to sleep with him. I can’t sleep with him knowing my best friend was falling for him. I sat up, watching her sleep, thinking of ways to get to Frank.

The next morning, I heard her in the kitchen on the phone and I knew it was him. I could hear her gushing over the phone.

“I can’t wait to see you.”

I walked into the kitchen and whispered to her that I was leaving. She waved and blew me a kiss.

I left and headed home. I couldn’t really focus. “How was I going to get into that house?” I thought. It finally came to me, my birthday was the last day of the month and I knew Frank would be working until at least midnight. I just had to get close enough to him, to get his keys. I thought about Roberta and how I would want someone to help my mother. I just didn’t know if I’d be able to withstand his presence. I hadn’t sat in my living room in weeks, I just kept thinking of him and how this place in my home was now filled with horrific feelings and memories that I prayed to forget.

I sat on the couch and an eerie feeling came over me. “What if he was referencing Amanda when he said I’ll never be her?” “What was he planning to do with her?” I needed to protect her. It was the least I could do. Amanda had always had my back, now I had to have hers.