Because This Is My Last Life[COMPLETED]

• KABANATA 25 •

"I see. Sorry for that. Good night." I smiled,pero ayaw kong kalimutan niya ang mga sinabi ko. In any case,baka magbago pa ang isipan niya. Who knows. Maybe she'll stay with me and watch me grow older. No,just kidding to make myself  feel better. Alam ko na ang babaeng tulad ni Brandish are the type to stick with what they had been decided.

Bagsak ang balikat na lumabas ako ng silid niya. Humilata ako sa kama,dikit sa kisame ang mga mata. Saglit pa ay napahawak ako sa dibdib ko.

Pakiramdam ko malaking bahagi ng pagkatao ko ang nagbago at nawala simula nang dumating sa buhay ko si De Silva,not to be dramatic pero parang biglang nawala ang dating ako na walang pakialam sa sarili kong nararamdaman. That's cringe though however back then,I treated myself as a machine for only one purpose,and that's to make revenge but it made no sense at all. Nawala ko ang sarili ko sa proseso,nalunod ako sa ilog na sinusundan ko ng daloy. But right now I could feel the warmth of life again,like I found the purpose of my life for the second time. It's all because of her.

I promise to help her end her misery noon pero ngayon naduduwag na ako na baka isang araw magtagumpay ako at tuluyan na siyang mawala sa akin. If only I could buy more time for us...

But Brandish cannot be swayed anymore,she do think that this time around she'll succeed because it is the perfect time to leave. Saka ko lamang naalala that I totally lost counts of my days na kaya ko pang makilala at maalala si Brandish.

Apat na linggo nalang ang nalalabing panahon ko bago ko siya tuluyang makalimutan. That's because she took the bullet and died for me noong huling engkwentro namin sa grupo ni Juan Luna IV na tauhan ng Organization.

Bakit ko ba nakalimutan iyon? Kahit anong gawin ko nasa corner na ako,Im on the dead end at hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko. Is there a solution for these?

Habang nasa malalim na pagiisip ay tuluyan na akong nilamon ng kadiliman.

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"Chrome,is your marriage working?"

Nagangat ako ng tingin nang marinig ko ang boses ni Google. He's not much of a big brother so why does he sound very much concerned.

"It's nothing. I just couldn't sleep without dreaming these past few days it's just creeping me out that I kept having repetitive dreams. Is that still normal?"napahilot ako ng sentido. Nasa opisina ako ni Google at nakikihilata sa sofa niya.

"Maybe you're just thinking too much about the same thing."he commented and I just nodded.

Pinatong ko ang braso sa noo ko at direktang tumingin sa ceiling. I know it's not normal to have the same dream like that over and over again. Isang panaginip kung saan palagi kong nakikita si Brandish pero sa magkakaibang lugar at panahon.

It felt surreal.

I saw her when I was a child,there was a party inside the house where I came from pagkatapos bigla nalang sumulpot sa harap ko ang isang babaeng inakala kong isa sa mga guest ng party,but she's not wearing something that normal people would wore during parties, instead I saw her wearing those old dresses that poor people wear during the late spanish era,she also wore something in her head and that's when my mother entered at pinasok niya ulit ako sa loob ng malaking bahay.

I was also delighted when I saw her in the Mansion's garden as an adult,I talked to her then I sketched her. Until everything is unclear and became fuzzy but once I woke up I still remember things in detailed.

"Maybe you need a break from work. I'll file you a honeymoon leave." Ika ni Google habang naririnig ko siyang nagsa-stamp ng mga papeles. Does honeymoon leave exist in this field? O imbento lang itong gonggong na to.