30
"What's your name, po, and what should I call you?"
Tahimik na pinasadahan ko ng tingin si Gianna habang inaayos ang pagkain n'ya. She's looking straight to Gideon who's sitting infront of us. May ngiti pa sa labi n'ya habang kausap itong nasa harapan namin.
"You can call him kuya or tito, Gia." Walang gana kong sagot sa tanong ni Gianna at t'yaka nilingon si Gideon.
His lips were parted.
Tinaasan ko lang s'ya ng kilay t'yaka inirapan. "Kuya? Tito? Why not dad, or tatay, mommy? Isn't he your boyfriend?" Makulit pang tanong ni Gianna na s'yang ikinasimangot ko.
"He's not."
"I am,"
I pursed my lips when Gideon and I both answered Gianna's question. Nakita ko kung paanong kumunot ang noo n'ya at naglaro na naman ang mapang-asar na ngisi sa labi habang nakatitig saakin.
"Fine, then call him what you want. His name is Gideon." Ako na mismo ang unang sumuko at umiwas ng tingin sa kanya.
Binalingan ko si Gianna at inutusan na magsimula na s'yang kumain. We prayed first, like we always does. Hindi ko maiwasang tingnan si Gideon paminsan-minsan tuwing nakatingin s'ya kay Gianna na tila ba namamangha sa ipinapakita nitong nakagawiang asal.
Tahimik kami nang mag-umpisang kumain.
"How old are you now? What school do you attend? " Gideon broke the silence. His gaze was still fixed on Gianna, and he seemed interested in my daughter's life.
"I just turned ten, and I attend Ateneo de Manila Grade School." Gianna's response to Gideon's question. "I'm in fifth grade."
Gideon's lips parted, and he nodded, as if amazed by what he had heard.
"So you also studied at Ateneo?" Nagulat naman ako ng ilipat n'ya ang tingin saakin.
Tumikhim ako at t'yaka tumango sa kanya ng tipid. "Yes, no'ng college sa Ateneo ako."
He pursed his lips at tila ba naging malalim ang pag-iisip dahil sa biglang buntong hininga.
"Who supported you?" Mahina n'yang tanong saakin.
Pinasadahan ko ng dila ang ibaba kong labi at seryoso s'yang binalikan ng tingin.
"I supported myself"
His eyes were filled with awe. I could see myself yearning for that kind of look.
"Saang law school ka pumasok?" Muli ay tanong n'ya saakin.
Tumikhim ako. "Do I need to give you my bio data? Bakit ang dami mong tanong?" Pangbabara ko pa.
Sumama naman ang timpla ng mukha n'ya tila ba hindi nagustuhan ang naging sagot ko. "I just want to know, Rox. Masama ba? I want to know what happened to you. I wanted to know where you lived for ten years. I wanted to know what I missed."
Napairap nalang ako sa kanya. "Sa Ateneo pa rin."
"And you just registered as an attorney six months ago. Did it take that long? Hindi ba dapat last two years ka pa naging attorney?"
Natigilan ako sa sunod na tanong n'ya. Hindi ko alam kung paanong sasagutin iyon.
Sasabihin ko ba sa kanya na kaya ako tumigil ng dalawang taon ay dahil nagkaroon ako ng sakit? Should I tell him that I had PTSD and had been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety?
"I stopped for two years." I slouched in my chair.
Kita ko kung paanong dumaan ang pagtataka sa mata n'ya at tila gusto akong tanungin kung bakit ako tumigil ng dalawang taon but thankfully he didn't.
