Sex, Love, Mafia ? (18+)

Chapter 59:

(Jungkook Pov)

She's not saying anything....why did I even bother. None of this working. The set up, my song,the fireworks,my apologies. I really fucked up. I guess this is it. I deserve every bit of it. My stupid fucking actions ruined the best thing in my life. I'm empty...

As I looked up in her eyes, tears were rolling down my face. What else can I do to make you take me back?

I lost my girl forever... 

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(Y/N Pov)

All this... the set up, the song, his apologies, fireworks... all of it was just to overwhelming. They put me on the spot.. it felt like it was rushed... this wasn't fair. Didn't even give me the chance to make up my mind... but they just jumped to conclusions instantly. Thinking I was going to forgive and forget that fast. My heart didn't even heal.... it was in the same position...my heart didn't know how to feel....it hasn't told me what to do yet...This was all just so sudden.

I stared in Jungkook's eyes...I can see the hurt in his eyes and how much he was sorry.. he didn't look like he has gotten any sleep. His eyes just looked red and puffy... he has been crying.

I turned back around and sat down on the dock. Just confused, upset and mad. How could they do this to me... I needed more time to think. To register everything...

Jungkook was waiting for me to say something. I didn't know the answer...I didn't know what I wanted yet.

He came and say down next to me.. picked up my hand and kissed it. I wanted to pull away but I just couldn't. He just stared at me while I was looking out in the water. I do love him so very much... but what he did... it didn't seem like love at all... they always say when you drink... the truth comes out. So, I wonder if what he said when he was drunk is how he really feels about me... especially calling me a bitch.

"I love you" he said again.

I didn't have the strength to say it back.

He pulled my face to look at him... tears were rolling down my cheeks. Jungkook just wiped them away.

"I know for the past couple months.. I have been an asshole. And I said I wouldn't be like that no more and I promised that to you. But, everything I said I broke. So,I know you won't trust me anymore. But, the love I have for you.. is real. I told you.. I have always been in love with you since we were kids. I watched every single guy hurt you and I wanted to kill them for all the shit they did to you. I waited til the right time to make you mine.  And finding you in the pantry... it was Destin for us to be together. It was the right time... my wish and dream finally came true. I didn't think.. I would break promise after promise that I had made to you. That wasn't my intention. I wished I stayed true to my word. I admit.. you don't have to tell me... I am a dickhead.. and I shouldn't be that way.. especially to you. Im just so scared to loose you... and look what happened.. I did. Over why stupid ways and actions. But there's something that would never change and it won't go away... and thats the love I have for you. I'll love you until the end of time... until my last breathe I take. I'll continue to fight for you. For you love and for us to be together again" He said.

He reached in his pocket and pulled a ring out. It looked different... Jungkook looked at it and played with it in his fingers.

"I bought you a new promise ring. But, if your not ready to forgive me and be mine again... I completely understand. I wouldn't even wear it too if I was in this situation. I'll hold on to it until your ready" he said....

I closed my eyes fighting the tears back. But I just couldn't. A feeling came to me  that I have never felt before... was this my dad? Was he trying to help me out? Was this his way telling me to speak...