JUST IN TIME (Author's Reco)

TWENTY

JENNIE

           
Lisa has been flirting with me. She even teased me that she only goes to school now just to get a chance to take me with her home and you know. God. But she would stop when my face becomes serious already.

           
Today is our birthday and I am planning to surprise her and so we can talk about what happened a year ago, fix things and make some amends. We need it.

           
I bought a birthday cake and a present for her and a box of pizza. I never thought I would do this surprise thing for someone whole my life. Never in my life I imagine myself being sweet.

           
The gate is open again as well as her door. I entered greeting her lively!

"Happy birthday, Lisa!"And I froze.

She's about to kiss a girl she's pinning on the wall. They're not naked. Not yet. The girl pushed her when she whispered something to her. She took her bag and went out.

           
I locked the door when she left and placed the cake and food on the table.  I walked to her and handed her my gift. She smirked and walked towards the balcony's door.

"Wrong timing, Jennie. Fuck! Don't you know I am so horny right now because you won't--. Ugh!And now you're here, interrupted my own activity.I was about to fuck her."She shook her head in disappointment and put the present on the side table.

                       
I am puzzled. She's so angry.

"You know, I really wanted to be happy that you're here with me on our birthday. But why am I feeling the pain again?"She said and her brows were fighting.

           
Her voice was so serious. I looked down and could sense some sting. She sat on the sofa and laid her head.

"Let's talk about it."I said and sat beside her as I caressed her thigh.

"And then what? Convince me to go back to your apartment and ask me whenever you want to have sex? Then one day you're going to bring some of your suitors again and---"Her voice is shaking in anger.

"Lisa, have you ever talked to me about this? I have tried many times to patch things up with you but you're always avoiding me.I have been asking for your forgiveness. I want us to be back just like before."I said crying. I'm too emotional. It's our birthday. We're supposed to be happy. We're supposed to deal with things in a nice way but she's so angry.

           
She remembered everything clearly. Lisa's feeling the pain again. I can't blame her. She stood up, holding her waist and the other hand is rubbing her head.

"Just like before? You want us to be just like before, Jennie?"She said sarcastically.

           
Walked back and forth. I stood up and hugged her from behind. Caressing her chest to calm her.

"Lisa, please relax. Let's talk. Please?"I am asking her in a calm tone.

           
But I was surprised when she suddenly faced me. Turned me around and pushed me on the wall gently. She took away my buttoned up dress.  She harshly destroyed it in half. With strong force. Her chest is pushing my back so I'll be sticking on the wall. She removed her top and I heard her belt clicking; nzipping her pants and she's stroking her thing up and down.

"Lisa, please. Let's talk first. I'm giving what you want after we talk."I am trying to hold my tears as I spoke to her calmly but obviously, I am trembling.

"What I want? No Jennie. I know that you just want us to be back like before just for sex. Hmmm?Right? This is just what you wanted from me. And I was so stupid for making myself available only for you any fucking time of the day you want because I love you. I love you!"Her words hit me hard. My guilt is rising up.

           
Lisa wrapped her arm around me making sure my arms could not move to stop her. Her other hand moved my center panty cloth to the side and she harshly inserted her thing on me. I jolted in pain.

"Ah! Lisa! It hurts! Lisa, please."I said.

           
I am crying already as she's thrusting so hard and forceful. The fuck I couldn't stop her because I also want her to touch me like this. Fuck.

           
I want her to touch me gently too. Just like how she made love to me before.
But I know how angry she is right now. She kept fucking me. Hard.

           
I turned my head behind and looked at her. Didn't care if she could see my tears falling. Her tear fell too when she looked at my eyes but her face is so serious.

"Lis, please. Let's do it gently. You used to protect me from men harassing me but look what you are doing now."I begged her to stop. She did not.

"Gently? You struck my heart full swing. So fucking hard that I was hurt so bad. Deeply hurt.What's lacking with me, Jennie?"I felt how painful she's drilling me inside but at the same time she gave me all my desires while fucking me. She made sure to wrap me with her arms so tight.

"Why can't you love me back?"She said and cried.

           
She pulled out and went inside her room. Crying. I followed her and I walked slowly beside her. She is siting on the edge of the bed rubbing her nape and wiped her tears. I held her jaw and slid my hand on her nape. I kneeled on the sides of her thighs above the sheets and sat above her. We looked at each other in the eyes as I traced my fingers on her face. My pointer reached her lower lip.

           
God. I can't resist her. My lips bit her lower lip gently. The surrounding became silent and here we are again, listening to our hearts beating so fast.

"Who said I can't when I have always been in love with you?"I said in my whispering voice while my tears fell.

"I am just sacred. I am not ready.You're too perfect for me, Lisa.I am just--. I am not even sure if I can be brave enough to enter a relationship.I don't know why I'm even holding back.I don't know if I'm capable of being so much in love.I am scared.I don't even know what I want in life, Lisa.And I am so sorry for being insensitive to you."

           
She wiped my tears and she apologized for her acts earlier. She kissed me gently. Full of passion. Just like how she made me feel how much she loved me before. Like how beautiful I am in her eyes. She hugged me tight. The hug that makes a promise that she will always be in love with me.

           
I found myself grinding on her. I screamed my moans when she entered me and all I cared was to be with her and feel her wanting me again. We made love with forgiveness and eagerness to make each other feel that we are still "us". But I know that it's not that easy to take away the pain I have caused her. If I would put myself in her shoes for the past 10 years falling in love with only one woman, that woman who did nothing but to be a coward for not fighting what she truly feels for you because she's too unsure in life, I'd probably be a helpless soul wandering in nothingness.

"If using me for your sexual needs everyday can make you forgive me or would let the pain in your heart vanish, do it.I am sorry for all the denials and pain, Lis. I hope I can take it all away."

           
Lisa just hugged me tight in her arms and still made me feel I am the most important person in her life.