LONELY| Thomas Shelby

3.9

TOMMY HAD TAKEN, Beth back to Polly's where the rest of the family had been. She had protested, not wanting to leave Esme but Tommy had explained Esme had left for the road with John's kids. The thought made Beth feel sick. She had lost her best friend and a woman she had grown to love dearly over the years and John's children who adored her like a mother. Beth had been silent the whole car ride, Tommy's hand squeezing hers in reassurance as she stared out the window is disbelief.

The Shelby's had greeted Beth with open arms when she had arrived with Tommy. Polly, who practically raised Beth as her own, had fought back the urge to burst into tears when Beth had entered her home looking a certain level of pain- that none of them had yet to have seen before. Ada had been taken back by the state Beth was in, as bad as she was at the death of each of her family members nothing would ever compare to the horrified expression that adorned her face the day that John Shelby had died.

Her expression was blank. Her skin was pale and her clothes were worn down and blood splattered. Her hair was stained red. Her eyes were filled to the brim with tears as she attempted to restrain herself from bursting into tears in front of her family, who were also in the shocked stage of John's passing. Ada had ran, Beth a bath in her old room in Polly's, her cry's echoing out of the room where Ada sat scrubbing the blood from Beth's hair who sat curled up in a state of shock. After her bath, Ada had left and Beth was left to dress in all black.

She changed into the black dress and heels, leaving her hair that had still been slightly damp, having air dried out, to rest with the front strands pinned back, the rest lying loosely down her back. Beth left her room, walking quietly down the hall of Polly's old home, her hands shaking as she walked through the Betting office and into the kitchen where the rest of the Shelby's sat. "Beth." Finn gasped, quickly wrapping his arms tightly around the blonde who hugged him back just as tight.

"She's alright Finn, let her sit." Ada instructed, smiling sadly at Beth who kissed Finns cheeks before sitting down beside Polly. Footsteps echoed throughout the shop but Beth couldn't bare to look up at Tommy who had entered the room. "John is dead." Tommy began, his eyes glanced down at his feet. Beth's eyes shut at his statement, shaking her head as she stared at the table. "Esme's gone on the road with the Lees. She's taken the kids. They say it's 60/40 in his favour." Tommy spoke.

"There's no number, there's no percentages. So the hand, the hand beneath him stops him falling. Spoke to someone.. my son will live." Polly slurred. "Micheal and John were shot because we killed someone. Vicente Changretta. His son Luca, has coke to take revenge. Men from New York and Sisley are here in Birmingham. These men will not leave our city until our whole family is dead. That's how it works, an eye for an eye, it's called vendetta." Tommy explained, his eyes boring into Beth who sat with her mouth twitching as if she was about to explode.

"Yeah well.. the bullets been written. It says Luca. When the time comes, and it will come, me as the oldest brother will put this bullet into his fucking head." Arthur growled. "There's been some bad blood between us." Tommy spoke. Beth's eyes shot up from the table when Polly began to laugh. "Polly, please?" Arthur whispered. Beth shot up, her hands banging loudly onto the table as she stared down at Polly in disgust. "I can't do this. I'm leaving." She spat, collecting herself. "Beth, please." Tommy begged, reaching for her hand as she walked out from around the table.

"I can't do this Tommy, not today, not right now. I cant- I just can't." Beth whispered, staring at him as he shut his eyes. "Just- at least- just stay so we can talk when I'm done." Tommy demanded, his eyes pleading. Beth nodded tiredly, walking away as Tommy began to talk to the room again.

•

It was at least an hour later that morning of Christmas day when Tommy had made his way up the stairs to Beth. Ringing his hands out, he couldn't help but feel anxious. When he had reached Beth's bedroom, he never bothered to knock and walked straight in. She had been sat on her bed, staring at the wall blankly as she smoked a cigarette. "You should sleep." Tommy commented, taking out a cigarette of his own and lighting it as he sat beside her onto the bed. "Every time I close my eyes I see him." Beth whispered, afraid of her own voice.

Wrapping his arms around her shoulder, Tommy pulled Beth into his side his hand rubbing up and down her shoulder in attempts to comfort her. "You did this to me." Beth whispered, her hands shaking as she dragged on her cigarette. "I know." Tommy murmured, closing his eyes. "I want my John back." She spoke, her voice quavering.  "I know." Tommy murmured, once again. Sitting up, Beth turned to look at him in. "Are you a fucking parrot? Do you actually fucking know, eh Tommy? Because I don't think you do."

"I understand how you feel-." Tommy began but Beth stood quickly, glaring down at him. "He took his own life for fucking mine! I want to be dead Tommy. I don't want to have to go through with this, any of this without John! He was dead, dead and lying on top of me, his blood on my fucking skin." Beth yelled, her body shaking as she pulled at her hair in frustration as began to walk around her room.

"I've stayed with you through fucking everything. You cheat and you lie and you steal and impregnated a woman while I was trying to pull myself together because I had lost everyone around me and now, only now have you pushed me over the fucking line. I don't know how, I will ever get over this, Tommy. It's John! John who lay on bed with me this morning, John who wiped my eyes when I cry, John who takes his own fucking life for me." Beth shouted, her voice getting louder.

Pausing, she began to feel the hot tears rolling down her face. "And he's gone Tommy, and he's not coming fucking back." Beth whispered, placing her hands over her face as she let out a sob. Her knees began to buckle and before she knew it she was sitting on her knees, covering her face as she cried. Tommy instantly sat up, his hands reaching for her. He pulled her onto his lap, still sitting on the ground and holding her as she only cried harder. "God, I hate you." Beth sobbed, clutching into Tommy's jacket who only held her tighter.

Closing his eyes, a tear began to fall from his blue eyes as he nodded. "I know."