A Court of Light and Melody

Chapter 2 - Ready to Be Found

"Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell."

Criss Jami

Song: Someone in the Crowd

Blood was pounding in Gwyn's ears. Her heart was thundered against her ribs. Every inhale and exhale took enormous effort. Almost as much effort as the smile she'd plastered on her face.

The priestess was so overwhelmed and so nervous that she hadn't even remembered to look at Azriel's expression when she arrived. Hadn't even bothered to see what his impression was of her in such a beautiful gown. Part of her wanted to seek him out. To tease him about dressing so formally. Their back and forth always got her out of her head.

She needed to get it together. To enjoy herself. To relax.

This was Nesta and Cassian's day. She was not going to take attention away from them with her irrational fear of being outside of the library. She was a Valkyrie, a Carynthian for gods' sake.

I am the rock against which the surf crashes. Nothing can break me.

Cauldron, that was so much easier said than done.
Focus on the music. You love music.

She really, really tried to. Gwyn tried to isolate the notes of the fiddle and the flute. To match them in time with the dancing.

Oh, but the twirling and the spinning and the singing... Her stomach lurched at the sight.

Gwyn's eyes looked for Emerie. She was on the other side of the temple sharing a glass of champagne with Morrigan. They were laughing. They were enjoying themselves.

As they should.

It was their best friend's mating ceremony.
Nesta was beaming and Cassian was near bursting with joy. Such a glorious sight should be enough to assuage her anxiety. She should take solace in Nesta's happiness. Clotho would urge Gwyn to feast on the hope of those surrounding her. But gods, was Gwyn beyond the ability to comprehend advice right now.

It was best if she excused herself. After all, no one would notice. Everyone was far too busy enjoying themselves because this was a damn celebration.
Forcing one foot in front of the other, Gwyn maneuvered through the small crowd, apologizing cheerfully through that smiling mask she wore so well.

No one questioned her. Why would they? They didn't know her. All of these faces, though there weren't many really, were familiar to Nesta but not to Gwyn. The one she believed was named "Amren" seemed to eye her circumspectly as she brushed past. Her silver gaze was shrewd and knowing, causing sweat to bead on Gwyn's brow. Under the female's stare Gwyn couldn't breathe and was thankful for the music that swelled, covering the sound of her wheezing.

The exit door of the private temple was within steps, and the second Gwyn's fingers grasped the handle she felt a link in the invisible chain that had been strangling her begin to break.

With all the control she could muster, Gwyn pushed on the door (though truthfully, she wanted to throw it open) and excused herself into the backyard of the river estate.

Her eyes burned as she tried to seek out some form of sanctuary. Somewhere she could hide until this whole thing was over.