A Court of Light and Melody

Chapter 55 - In Bed

"A meteoric rise- a passing flash but consistent growth - the bright north star"

- Mala Naidoo

Song: Pancakes for Dinner - Lizzy McAlpine

Gwyn laid on Azriel's bare chest, her head in the crook of his shoulder and his arm wrapped under her waist. She savored the feeling of her bare skin against his. The warmth, the firmness, the safety. That's what he'd always been, hadn't he? Her safety.

Safety when she had been in danger. Safety when she was uncomfortable. Safety when her demons came calling.

"You were right by the way," Gwyn said, her finger tracing idle patterns on his chest. "There's something very... never mind, you know what I mean."

Azriel tilted his head to look down at her crimson face. He grinned. "No, not 'never mind.' You can't allude to thoughts on the bond snapping into place to your mate then say 'never mind.'"

Gwyn was powerless to that smile, godsdammit. "I was going to say," she sighed with defeat, "that there's something very final about it. Almost like... an assurance... Is that what felt different for you? Is that what changed?"

After a pause, Azriel nodded. "Something like that. Yes."

Gwyn was relieved that she wasn't alone in experiencing such a feeling. It was almost profound. It made her heart pinch a bit.

Azriel sighed. "Well, I apologize that you did not get to sample more males before finding your mate."

"Oh, I'm sure that my mate's centuries of experience will manage to satisfy all my unexplored curiosities..." she said, angling her head so she could meet his eyes.

His expression was surprisingly tender. "I'd be honored."

The words, his face, those eyes, all of them like magnets drawing her lips to his. The kisses they'd exchanged never lost their luster, and in that moment her heart was so full that the words tumbled out of her...

"I want to accept the bond, Shadowsinger."

He was quiet for a moment, Gwyn's thundering chest the only noise filling the silence. Around him though, his shadows danced. One of them nipped at his ear and another tendril lifted to caress her cheek.

His expression remained neutral. "I want to as well." Azriel's eyes softened. "When you are ready, you say the word."

The corners of Gwyn's lips tilted higher. "How about you court me properly once we get back? We return to Velaris. We announce we're mates. And... we start working towards that. Towards... towards us." She took a steadying breath. "Maybe I could move into your chambers..."

Finally, Azriel's expression shifted, his brows raising. "Truly? You're that certain in your pursuit?"

"Almost a year of knowing one another," she shrugged. "Sounds like one of the longer relationships in your family, seeing as Cassian and Nesta were mated just a month or two after they stopped openly loathing each other."

"Loathing is their love language," Azriel smirked.

They shared a bout of quiet laughter and while they wound down, Gwyn found herself thinking the decision over again. Assuring herself that her desire to pursue the bond after nine months was the right choice.

What would being bonded to the shadowsinger look like?

More long walks with easy conversation. More challenging one another to be their best. More hand holding and tender kisses. More fucking where she felt like a goddess. More late night laughter tangled up in the sheets with him.

Yes. It was the right decision. She wanted this.

"If that's what you want," he finally said in a voice more gentle than the touch of his shadows. "Then yes. But on one condition."

Gwyn blanched. "Fine. State your terms."

Azriel's hand cupped her face, his forefinger running the length of her cheekbone. "I'd like you to meet my mother, at least once, before we accept."

"Of course," Gwyn smiled. "I'd love to."

Azriel nodded, pressing a kiss to her brow.

When he pulled away Gwyn saw something unspoken flash in his eyes. She laid a palm flat on his chest, silently urging him to tell her what was on his mind. He didn't seem afraid or ashamed but... abashed.

"Do you still have my handkerchief?"

Gwyn smiled. "Yes, I do. It's in the bottom of my bag. Why? Have you come to collect?"

Chuckling, the shadowsinger shook his head, eyes drifting to the ceiling. "About the ceremony... Our ceremony someday... The part where hands are bound with a length of black ribbon."

"Mm."

Azriel's reddened cheeks were lifted in a faintly amused smile as he slid his arm out from under Gwyn and reached beneath his pillow.

"Pulling a knife on me?" Gwyn snickered.

Azriel huffed a laugh, ignoring her question.

And then, slowly... he pulled a length of white ribbon out from under him. It had been smudged in a few places and one end was wrinkled while the other was slightly frayed.

Gwyn's breathing faltered as she propped herself up on her elbow, the free hand of her other arm covering her mouth in surprise. Pressure built behind her eyes. "Is that..."

Azriel nodded, still wearing that gentle smile. He cleared his throat. "It's the other half of the ribbon you cut." His eyes were lined with silver as he spoke, "I wasn't sure what got into me, but after I removed it from the beam... I couldn't bring myself to toss it out. It seemed... important."

Azriel held the ribbon out for Gwyn. She ran her fingers down the length of it, a few tears spilling down her cheeks. How long had they truly known, deep down, that they were so important to one another? That their souls were intertwined.

"I don't know what to say," she said, her voice hoarse with emotion.

"Say that we will have our friends bind our hands with this ribbon at the ceremony," he whispered. "Say that we'll use this - the ribbon that brought us together for the first time - for the moment that promises we'll be together till the end."

Gwyn wound the ribbon around her palm, feeling the fabric, now rough with use and age. "Yes."

Azriel sniffed, wrapping the ribbon around his hand as well. "I didn't know what to do with it at first," he said, studying their bound hands. "So I put it in the pocket of my leathers and... and it stayed there."

Gwyn's laugh was weak. "That's so fucking romantic."

"Romantic," he laughed, wiping away her tears with his thumb, a swallow working its way down his throat. "You see... you see only the best in me, don't you?"

"That's all you give me, Shadowsinger." She leaned into his touch, her hand lifting to mold over his. "I see exactly what is before me. Someone kind, thoughtful and gentle."

"Words no female has ever used to describe me before..."

"Good," Gwyn bristled. "I'm your mate and would be disappointed to hear if anyone else received this special treatment."

Azriel chuckled, the slightest of smiles playing on his lips. "Say it again."

She grinned. "I'm your mate."

"Again."

Gwyn inched up closer to his face, so close that her breath licked his cheeks, his shadows ebbing with her every inhale and exhale. "I'm your mate."

Hands still joined in the ribbon, Azriel rolled Gwyn beneath him, straddling her hips again. "Do you think you have one more round in you?"

She was leaving in just a few hours to go on the most perilous mission of her life but...

"Definitely."