A Court of Light and Melody

Chapter 39 - Shine

"Moving on is easy. It's staying moved on that's trickier."

- Katerina Stoykova Klemer

Song: Boss Bitch - Doja Cat

Gwyn blinked at Azriel, uncertain as to how she should react, how she should feel , that the High Lord and High Lady were aware she was Azriel's mate. The horror Gwyn had assumed she would feel at someone realizing the two of them were involved did not come. There was no apprehension or embarrassment that she would be seen in a sexual light.

But was that really a surprise? It was inevitable that her feelings would change. But she hadn't suspected that they would change so drastically so soon...

Gwyn, you yourself said: 'I have a feeling that it will be like ripping off a bandage.' Remember?

Oh. So I did.

Just like signing up for training. Just like leaving the House of Wind. Just like kissing Azriel. Just like deciding to leave the library. It had just... happened.

And maybe that's all healing is , Gwyn thought to herself.

Maybe healing wasn't always about epiphanies or breakthroughs. Maybe, sometimes, it was simply having the courage to move forward. To put one foot in front of the other. To grab the shadowsinger and kiss him. To go to a party. To leap at an Illyrian and battle them in the sky.

Azriel was watching her carefully and anyone else may have missed it, but there was genuine distress in his eyes.

She couldn't think of anything to say though. "Oh."

The shadowsinger paused, waiting for her to continue, but Gwyn said nothing more - just held Azriel's stare.

"Are you alright?" he asked softly. "I understand that you were more than a little apprehensive about being outed as involved, much less mates."

"I thought I would be." She shrugged. "I guess I'm not. It's just Rhysand and Feyre, right?"

The shadowsinger nodded, studying Gwyn closely. "Are you certain you're alright?"

"I'll admit that I'm surprised with myself, but... I'm fine. Truly." Her lips turned down at the corners in satisfaction. "I'm not sure if I'd feel this way if all of Velaris were aware but I can honestly say that Rhysand and Feyre knowing we are mates feels... fine." Gwyn arched a brow. "Wait, why do they care?"

"They have... opinions on our accepting. Especially since now we know for certain."

"What opinions?" she whispered.

Azriel rubbed the back of his neck. "The same reasons we decided to wait. They are concerned it is a distraction to accept the bond. I told them it had only just snapped for me anyway—"

Gwyn gasped and swatted the shadowsinger's arm. "That's right! You have to tell me what happened! What it felt like!" she blustered. "I want to know everything !"

The crease between Azriel's brows smoothed and he chuckled. "I actually have a lot to catch up on before we leave for the Spring Court."

Gwyn leveled him with a flat look. "Seriously?"

"After everything we've discovered I need to see if there's anything I missed and search for loose threads in my sources—"

"Azriel!" she whined.

She knew exactly what her saying his name did to him and in the next minute, his arms had encircled her waist, pulling her a little closer.

Despite the risk of someone catching them in such a compromising position, Gwyn laid her palms on Azriel's chest. "What do you think you're doing?" Gwyn smirked.