Jealousy

Part 17

The table is in complete silence with Phana's departure. Kit's tears are a slow steady stream and Bennie moves to take Pha's empty seat, gathering him in his big arms.

I sigh, this not going quite the way I planned. Wayo raises an eyebrow, questioning if we continue. I shake my head, no, I'm done. Wayo stands, gives a general waii to everyone left and Ming doesn't even bother to acknowledge anyone as he leaves, holding tightly to his precious.

With my eyes closed, I didn't even see it coming. I knew it was a possibility. You do a shit move, you expect a shit move back. Law of physics and opportunity.

Forth took it. I went flying off my chair as he gave me a full round house punch to my jaw. I sat on the ground, rubbing it, looking up at his pale face and wondered was it better to laugh, cry or do nothing? I broke out laughing.

WORST MISTAKE EVER... and I've made some really bad ones in my short fucking life!

Forth grabbed me by the placard of my white shirt and hauled me up to face him. "Funny? It's funny to take a hit like that? What the fuck happened to you, Beam Baramee?" He dropped me like a stone, or rather, like some dirty rag. "Never mind, I don't want to know. You're not worth it."

"You happened, Forth Jaturapoom. YOU!" I whispered from the ground. I kept my eyes closed and just laid there. I knew eventually, they'd all leave and I could go back to the safety of my little safe guest house and lick the new wounds I'd created.

"You turned into a real fucking asshole!" he snarled at me. It's hard to shrug on the ground but I managed. I was too lazy to move. I was exhausted. The stress that had built and built needed an outlet but Forth was NOT a safe one. I'd asked Wayo and Ming how to de-stress...

They told me about their private pool, gave me a key and directions. I just needed everyone GONE! I heard Forth walk over to Kit and Bennie and say something and more footsteps. I lay there for what seemed like forever before finally opening my eyes. When I did, I STILL wasn't alone.

"Fuck," I muttered, "You still have more to say?" I walked casually over to a chair and sat down. "What?"

"This was too grand to just tell me to fuck off, Beam. Too grand to teach Phana to fuck off. What are you trying to really prove?" Forth looks as tired as I feel.

I shrug again. "If there is more to it than that, figure it out. I'm exhausted. I'm going to sleep." Standing, I try to walk past him and he grabs my forearm. Electricity shoots between us. "You're lying, Beam. I don't know why, or if you're lying to yourself, to me or to both of us. But stop it. That night in your condo was not for revenge."

He's absolutely right, it wasn't. I never said that night was for revenge. THIS lunch was the revenge on him but it looks like it was on Phana... but I don't know why?

"What happened between you and Pha that I don't know about? Why should I talk and you never do?" I pull free and walk around him. "Go to hell, Forth. Information is a two way street. I'm tired of you always making accusations and never telling me anything."

I walk away as he calls me back. My name rings in my ears but I start running. If I don't lock a door behind me soon I may start crying. I'm not cruel, I'm not mean.

I hated making Kit cry like that. Phana apologizing on his knees? He did something that he shouldn't have and it involves me. But when? And why didn't he ever tell me?

Thanking god for Bennie, Yo and Ming, I make it safely into the guest house and collapse on the loveseat. My phone is dancing furiously across the table. Texts from everyone but Forth...

BDPHA: I'm sorry, forgive me. 😔❤️

It's the only one I read. I turn off my phone after that one. I need to think. Why is he also apologizing to me? Why didn't he do it in public like he did with Forth? I scream aloud and go shower. I crawl into bed and sleep for several hours.

When I wake up, I turn on my phone, and send Yo a text to let him know I won't be eating dinner tonight, that if he could have some fruit in the pool house, that would be suffice. Then I change into a suit, throw on a robe and sneak out.

I walk down the hidden path to the pool house, again so lost in thought, I don't realize I'm being followed. You would think I'd have learned my lesson... but nope! I'm an actual living breathing idiot.

I get to the pool house and sigh. It's a full size pool. I can do laps here and work off all my energy until I forget everything. Wonderful. I drop my robe on a nearby lounge and slide gently into the water.

I feel eyes on me, but when I look around, I see no one. The gently bobbing water, cool against my skin beckons.

Taking a deep breath, I dive under and begin to swim. I swim for half an hour or so before I feel tired and thank goodness, my stomach rumbles. It's been hours and hours since I last ate. I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever eat again.

I pull myself out of the water and pad slowly around the pool, looking for the fruit I'd requested. There, on a low table was the fruit. Sitting next to it, was Forth. 

"Fuck my life!"

From a pile of towels, he grabs the top one, stands and walks towards me. I'm frozen like a statue. "Beam, you know better. Let's get you dry before you catch a cold."

I snort. It's a balmy 25 or 26 degrees in here, there's no chance of catching a cold. Forth briskly rubs my body dry and then reaches up to dry my hair. His t-shirt is plastered to his body, but the sleeveless shirt gives me glimpses of his firm, strong pectoral muscles. 

God damn him! I grab the towel and push past him, drying my own hair, Dropping the towel in the bin, I grab a dry one, wrapping it around my waist and sit by the table. "What are you doing here, Forth?"

"We need to finish our conversation, Beam." He sits across the table and spears a piece of mango. "I'm not done yet. You have had your say. I've heard all of it except why you never explained anything."

I glare at him. "What do I have to explain?"

"Trust, Beam, trust." Well, hell, he's finally figured out where we went wrong.