Jealousy

Part 34

It takes some time, but things worked out with Book. He's not the brightest kid I've worked with up here so I often wondered how he got his name. It turned out his dad was drunk one night and kept throwing books at him. He was so fast dodging those books, it stuck. 

It's a real pity his heart has a leaky valve. Our hospital isn't big enough to have a dedicated heart surgeon, and I'm really too young. I have done enough general surgeries, though. He trusts me and with the help of the older surgeon, the administrator feels secure in performing it here.

Book finally agrees. Even if I do decide to leave at the end of the three months, he will be up and running by then. I won't have violated my word. 

I collapse and start to shake. I have to see Forth as a doctor now. I almost couldn't finish when he caressed my hand in front of my nurse. Fuck, she even went all starry eyed as he charmed her. I'd really forgotten that side of him. 

My heart still is racing. 

I put my hand over it to feel how fast its beating and start to smile. Checking my pulse would be the doctor's way, but nope, I am doing it the dramatic way! Wearing that silly smile, I press the button on the desk phone to let the nurse know it's time for Forth to enter.

She gives me a wink as Forth enters and sits down, I don't hear the door close. Our eyes meet and we don't say anything. Finally, I remember he's here as my patient... 

"How are you today?" Simple... don't go deep.

"Phana says I need surgery on my leg." What the fuck? 

"Excuse me? Why are you here, then? Phana is a better surgeon than I am." 

"I don't think I can wait until I get back to Bangkok, Beam. I'm in too much pain. I started throwing up yesterday. Or was it today? Not sure anymore. It hurts to walk, and I can't tell where the pain is from."

Oh fuck my life! To examine him properly, he needs to take off his pants! I have to touch his warm skin! I itch to do it, but it's dangerous... very, very dangerous. I'm in danger of loosing control of myself and assaulting a fucking patient!

Controlling my expression, I nod and ask him to change. I leave the room. I just pace gnawing on my bottom lip for the five minutes I give male patients. Really, it doesn't take that long to drop trousers and slip on a paper gown.

I knock on the door before entering and Forth is standing, gown hanging open at the back. He's fucking naked except his damn underwear! Fuck my life. Seriously, fuck it. I want to run. 

I want to push him against the examination table and kiss him until we are breathless. 

I want...  I need to stop, I remind myself. I AM his doctor, right now. "Up on the table, please." I want to yell with the success of how steady my voice is. I don't. Professionalism, you know.

He nods at me. He wasn't his usual graceful self getting up on the table. I see why Pha sent him to the hospital. The leg is stiff. Most people are unaware they have a dominant leg, just the same as they do a hand. Forth's is his right. It's not responding the right way.

His face, and I do know it very well, is also filled with pain, as he maneuvers on the small table. "Is this a good position?" He settles back on the table, resting his head on the pillow. 

"It's fine." I'm brief now, completely clinical. I've traced his scar before but never really thought about HOW badly it must have hurt or even why he did it. I know Forth. He let it happen. 

I push the gown up and start to palpitate the muscle around his knee, looking for areas of inflammation and tenderness. He screams. Fuck. "Sorry, Forth." I prod a bit further up his thigh, feeling the tense muscles under his scarring and begin the examination around his hip.

There, it's not as bad. I tug down his gown. "I'll go and we can talk after you get dressed."

He reaches for my hand and stops me. "Beam?"

"What?" My knees are weak. I can't turn and look at him. I will fucking kiss you! I want to taste you so fucking bad! He drops my hand and sighs.

"Nothing. Stay. It won't take long." I move to my desk and sit down. I open them and he has that paper gown off. He's reaching for his t-shirt, his back muscles are rippling. My mouth waters and I start to fight desperately with myself. It's harder and harder to concentrate with a bulge in your pants. 

Instead of watching the show, I make notes in his chart. Hip = bursitis, mild inflammation. The knee, well it's a fucking mess. I need a MRI to know exactly how bad it is. I don't even understand how he's been walking on it. It could be something simple like water under the kneecap, but I doubt it. 

I personally think he shattered the kneecap and it healed badly. Now, one of the bone fragments has migrated under the cap and caused it to inflame. Forth has been fighting off this infection for months, possibly years. He does need surgery, as quick as we can set up or he will loose the leg. I send Pha my diagnosis. He sends back a thumbs up.

Forth is dressed and waiting. "Who did you text?"

I glance up. "Phana. He was the one who sent you here?" He nods. "Thought so. I wanted to confirm my diagnosis before telling you. I don't have all your charts or your background history, Forth. Phana is better at this type of diagnosis as well."

I lean back in my chair. "You won't like it." I shake my head. "Not one bit. I am more concerned if you can do what we need to do up until surgery." I bite my lip and sigh.

"I can," He leans forward and his eyes are glittering black diamonds. "With your help, I can do anything." 

"Cheesy." I mutter, fighting down a blush. "If I tell you what's wrong, will you understand? Or do I just tell you what we need to do to make you better?"

Confidently, he smiles. "Tell me both." I watch his face pale as I tell him. He nods at the right places. He grimaces as I write out a prescription for some very heavy duty antibiotics and another for pain killers. 

He bursts out angrily when I tell him the hardest part. "There is no fucking way I can't walk any more, Beam! That's impossible!"

"If you don't stop, Forth, before you go for surgery, you may loose that whole leg. All of it! And whoever your surgeon is won't be repairing your knee, they will be amputating your fucking leg." I'm screaming now. I've forgotten I'm his doctor. I'm his lover. "It's your whole fucking leg, Forth. Gone! Poof! Instantly, like that!"

He stares at me, grabs the two scripts I've written and slams out of my office.