Jealousy

Part 7

He doesn't say anything at all after that one statement. He has no need to. His body talks to mine. He's pressed his whole body tight to my backside. From his head to his toes, I feel the heat emanating from his body to mine. It's electrifying.

His arm beneath my body holds my left pectoral tightly, with his thumb casually grazing the tip of my nipple. His other arm rests lightly on my hip bone, those fingers are playing havoc with the smooth planes of my abdomen. I'd try to run but I know how swiftly he can move. I stay stiff in his embrace.

What worries me the most, is what is nestled firmly between my buttocks. He's hard as a rock. He's not moving, yet...

Yet it stirs up so many memories of waking up exactly like this in the past. Is this what he wants from me? Another walk down painful memory lane? I can't take it anymore and I try to bolt. Swiftly his arms tighten and he pulls me back down.

He clamps me tight to his body. "No, Beam, I told you, you can't ignore me."

The only sound I make is a growl deep in my throat. I'm going to burst soon. I can feel it. I rarely let all my anger out. It's hard to contain and I feel absolutely horrible once I do. It has a bad, bad side effect too.

I only tell the truth then, and all of the truth. All of the ugliness I've kept inside will come pouring out. I'm not a nice man. NOT. NICE. AT. ALL. I have to keep it inside, the way I always do.

"Forth," I say, quietly and politely, "Let me go. I have personal needs to attend."

"No." His arms tighten around me. It was flat, with no tonal infliction. It gave me no clues to how he was thinking at all. I growled again.

I tried again. "I am not going to pee in my bed so let me go."

"I will drink it if I need too, but I'm not letting you go." 

"You fucking pervert!" My mouth dropped from shock! Where and what the hell had he been up to in the past five years? 

"Nothing about you can be bad, Beamie. But I'm not letting you go until we finish talking." He was adamant. "I've learned things. I've learned about you introverts." I felt his head rest, no, push into the gap between my shoulder and ear.

"You spend all that time inside your head because it's safer than out of it. But you constantly doubt every decision you make so you are doing revision after revision on yourself. Nobody else, just yourself." His hands were doing those funny things to my insides again.

"Don't you dare analyze me, Forth Jaturapoom!" I snapped back, not willing to admit I see a doctor for that reason. 

"I'm not. I had to find out because I love you and I am not ever leaving again, Beam. Not after last night." His hand crept lower. "You shouldn't have let me kiss you, or have sex with me... "

He closed his hand around me and I moaned. I was hard and aching. He found what I had been desperately trying to hide. 

"It never stopped, did it, Beam? This attraction we have for each other?" I felt him drop light kisses on my bare back. It wasn't casual anymore, his touching of my nipple, but deliberate. Fire once again began to consume my insides. 

I was burning up, my skin was hot to touch. All I could pay attention to was the feel of Forth's fingers on my chest and his hand stroking my engorged cock. I was lost when he rolled me to my back. 

If I was a dog, my tongue would have hung out the side of my mouth in a desperate attempt to cool off. Instead, I panted, drawing deep breaths in. This just drove him crazier and Forth met my eyes and began to lick my chest, lips and tongue replacing his fingers. 

He blew air over the wet skin and I'd shiver. I couldn't stop the sounds escaping from me. I couldn't. Trying made them sound like whimpers. Moaning drove him on, whimpers slowed him down... Screaming to god, he smiled in triumph. 

There was no mercy this morning. He left no inch of me untasted or untouched. I lost control... 

Should I be ashamed? Well, I'm not. My nails dug deep into his skin as he bit me. I pulled his hair when he drew my cock into his mouth for the first time and thrust deep, causing him to gag, almost throwing up. 

But, it's the claw marks down his back, marring the tattoo of a devil, standing over a pit of flames, that I'm most embarrassed about. I screamed and screamed  until my voice was hoarse. I told him over and over, to fuck me hard, no, harder... all while dragging my nails down his back until I had skin and blood under them. 

I don't know how many times he made me cum, but it felt like hours we spent that morning having sex. My body didn't just ache from the fact it was so unused to it, since it had been five long years, but it hurt. It hurt as if I was a virgin again.

I almost crawled to the shower, crying in pain. I stood under the warm, not hot, knowing that with hot water, my muscles would tighten up even more later. It took me a good ten minutes before I found the energy to start to clean myself up. 

I wanted to cry. I had nothing left in me to do so.  I rested against the wall and sighed. Why now? So lost in my thoughts, I only felt the cool air when the shower was turned off. 

"Beam, enough. Come out now. It's time to eat." I looked at Forth, a bit dazed. He had pulled on a pair of underwear, but other than that, he... he... 

Fuck: I wanted to fuck him again. 

Forth just smiled at me. That's all. "Beam, let's eat. I need to shower but I can do that after. You need to eat."

Maybe he's right. Maybe food will help. I haven't eaten in over 24 hours and that's a lot of physical exercise, plus beer that I drank. Who are you kidding, Beam Baramee? Food has nothing to do with your current state? It's him.

Quite docile, I followed Forth to my kitchen and sat at the table. I stare up at him and whisper, "Where the hell did the food come from?" I know damn well there isn't any food in my condo. 

"I ordered it." Forth sat across from me and poured a cup of coffee. "Have you started drinking coffee? You're well stocked for someone who only drank juice or water?" I answered with a nod. Coffee got me through those days after he left. It reminded me why you shouldn't get involved too deeply with anyone.

He pushed the cup to me. "I presume you drink it black." He poured himself a cup. "I think it's time we got reacquainted properly, Beam."