Motherhood looks so easy and fun on the internet, but it's one hell of a job in reality.
Don't get me wrong, I love my baby girl to death but being a mom is exhausting to the MAX.
Catering to her needs, my needs, Lamelo's needs, is really hard all at once.
It's even harder with Lamelo having to travel during the season too.
"Lamelo can you change her?" I asked. "I'm trying to cook."
"You have two hands." He said playing his video game.
"Lamelo we are Parents, I think you're forgetting the extra S." I groaned.
"Listen, being a dad is a really hard job on top of playing basketball all around the world." He said. "I need some me time."
Lamelo his headset back on and played his game.
Aiko started to cry and Lamelo rocked her with one arm and the game controller in the other.
Just three and a half months ago when Aiko was born, Lamelo was so committed. Where was all that energy now??
"Give me her!" I said snatching Aiko from him.
"And you can fix your own damn dinner tonight, bitch!" I said angrily.
I walked over to the side of the Tv and unplugged the gaming system.
"What the fuck did you just do??" Lamelo popped up from the couch.
"Letting you know your daughter is worth more than some stupid ass video game!" I yelled.
Me and Lamelo really got into it. Shouting and throwing things at each other, causing Aiko to cry louder.
I gave Aiko her binki and put her in her crib, closing the door so she wouldn't hear too much.
"Why do you always have to turn to arguing Ronnie??" Lamelo said. "I though we weren't doing that shit anymore!"
"I don't want to, but you make me have to get on your ass! Every! Single! Time!" I yelled clapping my hands at him.
"Ever heard of just deal with it? I was gonna help out with Aiko later!" He yelled.
Just deal with it? JUST DEAL WITH IT??!
I don't know who Lamelo thought I was but I was about to let him know I'm damn sure not the one!
"You want me to deal with it??Fine!" I yelled.
"That's g-"
"Get out." I said.
"What do you mean get out?" Lamelo raised an eyebrow.
"Get out of this house, Lamelo." I said. "Now."
I backed him up onto the door as he tried to protest.
"You're gonna make me go?" He asked. "This is my fucking house."
"I don't give a shit if this was Obama's house." I said. "You're gone. Poof!"
"Why do you always choose to be the bad guy Ronnie?" He asked.
I stayed silent.
"Huh?" He asked. "You claim to not wanna do this break up and make up shit all the time but you don't even try with it."
"Try with what?"
"Try with us!" He yelled. "You always think throwing a bitch fit, pushing yourself away, and isolating the both of us fixes everything! But it doesn't! That's all you ever do! That same old shit over and over! I'm getting tired of it!"
"Well then I guess you can be tired of it." I said taking off my ring and shoving it towards his chest.
I slammed the door on him and locked it.
I went up to Aiko's room and picked her up.
She was fast asleep. I looked at her sweet little innocent face as she knew nothing was going on between me and her father.
Hot tears ran down my face. Why am I such a god damn cry baby??
Maybe he was right.
I always do push myself away. That same shit over and over. I hate it but I keep doing it to myself.
I just don't understand why? Everything happens for a reason right? But what if my reasoning was wrong?
I really need to stop overthinking this whole situation and just sleep on it.
The next morning I woke up to go give Aiko her morning feed.
As I picked her up, I realized my engagement ring was back on.
I could have sworn I had took it off after my argument with Lamelo the night before. Or Maybe not.
I shrugged my shoulders and continued to feed Aiko and burped her slightly after.
I carried her down the stairs with me and smelt something amazing coming from the kitchen.
There was only one thing. If Lamelo was gone, and I wasn't in the kitchen, then who the hell was in my house cooking up a meal.
I clutched Aiko close to me and crept downstairs.
Lamelo and Liangelo turned around in the blink of an eye with that "oh shit, we got caught" look on their faces.
"Well, how about I start off with good morning." Lamelo smiled.
"Lamelo what the hell are you doing here?" I said.
"What do you mean? Isn't this HIS house?" Liangelo asked.
I glared at him and Lamelo nudged at Liangelo's side.
"Yesterday never happened." He said. "We're not holding grudges against each other anymore, I might be tired, but I'm not done."
"But We go back Every time Lamelo! Every time." I said.
"I'm just gonna go.." Liangelo said leaving.
"Every time. Maybe these time mean something." He said. "We need to Mature more, but this time is our last and very last time Maturing. We've gotta get it together." Lamelo said. "It's just about you, me, and Aiko right now."
"So we're finally putting ourselves first, understanding each other, and cooperating as parents and Lovers?" I asked.
"We're doing this one last time." He said holding out his hand.
I looked down at the ground wondering if I was mature enough to commit.
"Ronnie." He said lifting my head up. "One more time.."
"One more time." I smiled while holding his hand.
