Faded Wings [Birdtale Sans x Reader]

Chapter 51- I Need To

[Y/N] Pov

"I think it's about time I told you about my wings," you said eyeing his face. You watched closely for any shifts in his expression, no matter how small. Searching for widened eyes or a small twitch in his comforting smile as you originally expected. However, you were surprised as you didn't find anything as John gave you a small nod. Was he not surprised? Was he not worried? Was he not scared, you questioned yourself as you stepped aside to let him into the room. 

He calmly walked inside as you stood with your back to him, looking down into the hallway. You could hear the faint laughter of your sister along with the iconic laughter of Spongebob Squarepants. As well as a dim flashing blue light at the end of the dark hall, letting you know that she was watching tv again. She seems happy, you thought. When suddenly the inky hands of fear grasped onto your mind as you thought about abandoning your spark of courage. 

He doesn't need to know. 

Pulling you deeper...

Just say that you changed your mind

And deeper...

Walk away and go sit with Skyla

And deeper...

Drown everything away in cheesy cartoons

And deep-

"[Y/N]," a calming voice called out behind you. You quickly turned your head to see John, staring at you with a gentle look in his blue eyes. He looked so tired and worn out as his small eye bags shined from the soft light through the curtains. "You don't have to tell me anything if you're not ready," he said as he leaned onto the bundle of blankets behind him. He glanced down at his hands and began to play with a bracelet on the wrist of his right hand. It was a gift from your mother...

~Flashback starts~

"Happy birthday John," you and your mother cheered in unison as John started to walk over to your table with your food. He suddenly stopped and shook his head a bit, chuckling softly before continuing. 

"Thank you," he smiled. He stood at your table holding onto a tray with a (favorite flavor) muffin and a large coffee. He balanced the the tray onto one hand and rubbed the back of his head with the other as he added, "I can't believe you guys remembered." 

"Well of course I would remember. You are one of my closest friends," your mother emphasized while she reached into her purse. She shuffled through her bag filled with the essentials like your snacks. "Now where is it," she muttered grabbing the bag closer and looking inside. Her tongue poked out slightly as she rummaged around.

"What are you looking for (mother's name)," John questioned. 

"Most likely your present," you explained. You were trying to reach for your muffin from his tray, having grown inpatient for him to set it down. 

"Oh sorry," John quickly apologized as he set the muffin and coffee down. Placing the empty tray flat on his side while you happily smiled and munched on your food. He asked, "And what do you mean by pre-"

"Ah ha! I found it," your mother cut him off as she trimpuhly held up the gift. It was a looked like a small box that had been poorly wrapped by a child--which it was as you took your time trying to get it perfect--with a big bow on it.  "Here," she beamed handing John the gift, "Open it there is no time like the present!" 

John eyed the gift in curiosity and joy as he struggled to pull the box from the mountain of tape. Once he did, he opened the box to revael a half-light blue and half blue lokai bracelet.

"It's called Unwind," your mother joked, "so, hopefully, it'll help you chill out for once." John and her laughed as he put it onto his wrist.

"Thanks guys."

~Flashback end~

Ever since that day, you noticed that he would wear the bracelet underneath his sleeve. Only showing it whenever he needed to calm down or get his thoughts straight. It was always felt bittersweet to you in a way.  He held onto the gift for support and help but, knowing that it came from someone very dear to the both of you was so painful. 

"Just know that when you are ready," he trailed off bringing you back from your memories, "I'll be hear to listen to you."

He pulled his eyes away from the gift and towards your (e/c) eyes. You can feel the warmth and kindness he was trying to convey with that single look. Trying to break down the thick icy walls that you've built since the day of your mother's death. You tried so hard to hide away from the kindness and affection, fearing of everything to come from it. Everything would be different. It'll be hard. What if it was all a waste?  But when you noticed the corners of his mouth turn into a smile. You couldn't help but feel his kindness and care was melting through your defenses. you took a deep breath and closed the hallway door, stepping further into the room. 

"I might struggle with this," you warned as you turned your back to him. Peering between the blinds that weren't covered by the lilac curtains, staring up into the sky. "But I wanna- No I need to tell you this," you insisted. You felt a recent familiar tingle growing on your back while you peered at the children laughing as they played tag in the pink cotton candy clouds. "I need help," you stated as the tingle expanded, "I need to be free." You glanced at the breeze pushing the branches of the tree outside in the street. The fall leaves falling ontop of a bunny monster's head and the large smile on their face.  "I need to fly," you declared as you faced John with your injured wings spread out behind out. His smile widened at you before he nodded at you in agreeance. You felt like your heart was racing a hundred miles per hour, oddly enough it wasn't completely out of fear anymore but the opposite

You were with filled bravery.  

"It started on what was suppose to be the one of the happiest days of my life..."