Constantly Recurring (Perpetually Series #3)

Prologue

"Aren't you leaving yet, Charlotte?" I heard Kyle's aunt asked me.

Niyakap ko ang mga tuhod ko at umiling. Naramdaman ko ang presensya ni Charles sa likod ko. He placed his hands on my back, caressing it. I turned to him at umiling din. Ayaw ko.. ayaw ko pang umalis.

"Ako na ang bahala kay Charlotte, Tita" Charles stated. I felt them leave, but I'm still not shifting my gaze elsewhere. Andoon lang ang paningin ko.. hindi ko inaalis.

In loving memories of Kyler Jonathan Dizon the grave stated.

Bumagsak ang luha ko.. parang kelan lang.

"Umuwi na tayo Charlotte mamaya ah" sabi ni Charles. I understand how concerned he must be.. he is my twin brother after all. I appreciate how concerned he is.... Our fates have been almost in the same path since we were little and we share a lot of struggles..

But this one? It's quite hard. He doesn't understand the pain I'm carrying right now. Hindi niya alam ang pakiramdam na mamatayan ka ng taong minsan mong minahal nang sobra sa buong buhay mo.

The pain is unbelievably heavy... sobrang sobrang sakit.

The concept of death is quite hard to digest. How is it possible that the person you once knew... once you share a lot of moments with and a person who you invested with so much can be someone who you'll never see again? He cease to exist.. that is something hard to accept.

Kasalanan ko.. kung di ko lang..

Napailing ako. Malaking pagod ang nararamdaman ko ngayon sa puso ko. Wala akong ibang maramdaman kundi sakit.. possible pala 'yon? Kala ko manhid na ako e.

"Uwi na tayo" sabi ko kay Charles.

Wala na talaga siya. The wake has come to an end.. nailibing na siya. Di ko na talaga siya makikita...

I went home that day and refuses to go out to my room. Alam kong nag aalala sila Mama sakin pero ayoko talaga sila idamay sa mga pag iyak iyak ko. Ayokong makita nila na nahihirapan ako. I love my family but I'm not comfortable with sharing my vulnerability with them dahil na siguro ako ang panganay.

I woke up to with a weird feeling on my feet and I almost flinch pero narealize ko na agad na si Finfin iyon. My Pomeranian dog.. hawak hawak siya ng bunso kong kapatid na si Leigh.

"Goo morning Ate" bati niya saakin. I smiled at her.. this kid's very sweet.

"What are you doing here Leigh?"

"Kuya Charles said make gising daw po kay Ate Charlotte" she said

My forehead creased "Why daw?"

Leigh picked up Finfin and go to the door. Napakunot lalo noo ko

"Why daw po Kuya Charles?" Tanong nya mula sa labas

Stupid Charles. Pede namang gisingin ako nang direkta.

"Hey dingus. Just wake me up directly" malakas ko siyang tinawag. Para kasing tanga, ginagamit pa si Leigh. Weird talaga neto minsan, binubully ako pero takot sakin.

"It's our enrollment today" iyon ang bungad niya saakin.

Bumigat ang puso ko. I'm transferring today to Westhills Academy. I have been receiving a lot of hate since Kyle died... they've all been blaming me for it. Hindi pumayag ang nanay ko na mag stay ako doon kahit Grade 12 na naman ako. I need a fresh environment daw. Nalulungkot lang ako dahil pati si Charles ay nadamay pa pero di niya daw kakayanin mag stay sa dati naming school sa ganoong klase nang pagtrato sakin. Besides.. ayaw niya din mahiwalay sakin. Ayaw niya lang sabihin.