Secretive - Bucky Barnes

41 || The Urge to Paint Her

[Nova/Steven]
The plan got a little change when we saw what Chloe did. Now, Sam, Steve and I are still going to take looks at old quarters and hiding places of her family, Natasha and Tony will examine the broken skyscrapers in Berlin to look for evidences or something giving us a direction for the right track. Thor and Banner are combing old contacts and try to figure out something, plans or anything, that way, for what the latter had to come back to the tower and stop whatever else he was doing.

It is no coincidence I am not in my hometown by now. My parents have been the first I called instantly after getting the news, and luckily, they are fine, but I will not give in to Chloe and be lured in like a moth by light. Getting back now would only lead me into a trap, she would try to catch me, and I easily can avoid this. I do not want to stress about what would be incoming and since everyone I know is well, there is no reason for me to go to my hometown.

We are in one of Tony's jets right now, the trio of ours, crossing the Atlantic Ocean to Italy; to the place where it all began. Probably. I cannot believe Chloe's only intention is seeking or hurting me; why would she do such a drama in the height of her position? She is one of the youngest mafia leaders in the world. She will have more to do than stalking a former idol. Nonetheless, it, and I would not admit it, got under my skin. Seeing these towers fall like dominos, like someone crashed a Lego building with a wrecking ball made my stomach turn. These innocent people have nothing to do with it, but she knows it affects me. She knows, because I let her know.

I probably should stop showing emotions at all when on mission, so that no one knows who I actually, and what I actually care about. Protection for the things I value should be highest priority, but it is so hard during a real fight to keep them over my own survival. Who will safe them if I died? The urge to get through every little conflict is high, higher than everything else. And I dare myself to letting it have become even higher now that I want to protect James at any cost, and therefore need to stand everything through.

Quietly sighing, I break the uncomfortable silence in the jet. Steve sits in my opposite, Sam in one of the four beige leather seats next to me. The light is warm but bright, keeping us awake, and now and then, the stewardess would ask us for needs. I cannot even look outside, for Tony not taking any chances at me being seen, and all the windows being covered by thick, black curtains.

»None of this is your fault. Remember this.« Steve says, getting on the load that starts building on my shoulder, pressing down my torso. Farther, and it will threaten to choke me.

My glance flies from my imagination of the dark waves of the ocean outside the plane to the light sky of his eyes, evaluating them and his facial expressions, the position of his dark eyebrows, a little frowned in concern. His hair is messier than usual, but then, it always seems to be in the right position, no matter how tousled. There is nothing else to expect from America's Golden Boy. »Why do you care so much about me?«

Nothing but the light widening of his pupils portrays I caught him off guard. »What do you mean?« he asks back, leaning forward and supporting his temple on his hand, tired.

Sam, too, starts to pay attention to our conversation. He may does not move his head, but I see the flicker underneath his closed eyes from the corner of mine. He cannot fool me.

»You're totally fine with the fact James is my boyfriend, although you hit on me the first moment. Usually, people get upset by this, but not you. Then, you simply go on like it was nothing, letting me in and trusting me. You don't seem to stop, even with me obviously having played with all the faith you had in me. Why don't you feel any dislike? Disdain?«

He chuckles quietly, shaking his head. He takes his time for answering, and obviously, not even considers to do it straight about what I stated. »James told me you'd be pretty curious, in superficial things as in personal.«