Secretive - Bucky Barnes

65 || Rack

[Nova]
I wake up in my bed the next morning. Well, more concrete, in the bed that was chosen to be mine in Stark's Tower, but in the end, it seems to be long to me now anyways since I have no where else to go.

We must have arrived late last night, and probably, James brought me to bed. Otherwise, I could not explain my whereabouts, because I am pretty sure that I did not enter the building by myself. And I am pretty sure I would have woken up by anyone else carrying me into the elevator and to bed.

The roller shutters are entirely closed, and if it was not for the little gap underneath the door, I would have seen nothing at all.

Carefully, I push my body forward, inhaling sharply between clenched teeth. A searing, stabbing pain shoots upwards from my belly; seems like my painless time is up. It is not unbearable, but the shock about suddenly feeling something made me let out a noise. Something in between a grunt and a hiss.

Again, I thank whoever is responsible for creating my body with increased healing; it just takes a couple hours to fully set in, but the cut has to be tomorrow this time nothing more than a slight scratch. 

The memory comes back in a flash, and my brain is almost not capable of holding every information.

Jonas, suddenly appearing, trying to stab and poison me at once.

Him being involved into a terroristic organization called Hydra, which links to Johann Schmidt, Steven Rogers and actually, the entire Avengers Squad as the defeaters.

His complains about being the unloved child because I got the gene, and he did not. He got hit, and I got cake.

But I cannot imagine this. I pulled all thoughts during the walk with James last night like bubble gum, but it did and does not make any sense. From what I know, both our parents always loved us, did everything to protect us. Dad did not even want me to get into all the chaos and mess his life contained, and mom was the one to tell him there is no other way. How plagued he sounded that day, when she convinced to start my training. 

Jonas had smiled so much when we were children. Would I not have seen the bruises he spoke of? Something that was broken inside him? I must have recognized it, felt it, known it. We were inseperable. But never was the slightest amount of hint in there.

Could I really be so blind? Or did my brother simply search for a reason to convince himself his actions has been right, fooling him into death himself? I cannot imagine him being so stupid. Who would have planted such thoughts in his head? Hydra, perhaps? Linking him to me, and from me to the Avengers? But they did not know I would ever end up here, did they? Jonas seemed to be involved into their business longer than two or three months for them definitely not being naïve enough to let a newcomer handle a whole mission, and Tony does not seem like a man being fooled so easily.

Suddenly, a rattling noise rips me out of my thoughts, followed by small rays of sunshine falling into my room from chins. I sit there, frozen in a state of defence; arms already held in boxing position, head ducked behind my fists.

The roller shutters move upwards piece by piece, and from my bed, I can see the star of our solar system spreading heat over the green crown of a nearby park. The sky is brightly blue, promising a nice day. In the distance, a biplane flies, like a small bird without shaking its wings. No sound penetrates into my room, not even the traffic right in front of the park, the building. Thick walls and windows prevent it, and probably, also bullets.

What an irony. My destiny really seems in the mood to mock me around with the weather.

Running my hands through my hair, a familiar circumstance gets processed in my mind, letting me smile a little sadly. James must have braided them again. He does so every time he is with me and has troubles to fall asleep.