Secretive - Bucky Barnes

16 || Immortal

I blink once, twice. Utter puzzlement first, and then utter disbelief. There is the usual mistrust I have against new people I meet; of course, not directly reproach them, not directly declaring them a liar, but still, skepticism can never be entirely wrong. Nevertheless, the way she presented herself, the way she almost or rather, quite literally landed here – this holy glow around her, the golden shimmer to her flawless skin that can only come from the same liquor running in her veins as it does in mine. The hair, exactly like the mane tangling down my shoulders in soft waves, and a sagacity behind these dark eyes that can only emerge from thousands of years of living.

There is a feeling about her that soon decides to blossom in my chest; the more I look at her, consider her to be who she claims to be, the more intense it becomes, until it consumes my last breath, turning me right into the celestial creature that chased James away. Not that I would be illuminated from inside like a light bulb, too, but I do not try to hide what feels somewhat unnatural to me; stopping the breathing and the heaving of my shoulders, blinking, pretending not to get every single detail of the environment else than her. For example, the small mice beneath the snowy surface vibrating through the soil, or the slight breeze brushing the leaves at the top of the trees surrounding us gently, the sogt wooshing sound of a wild cat licking its teeth in its sleep perhaps two miles away. The breathing of James, of Steve and Rebecca, inside the safehouse.

From my position, maybe ten meters or a little more in her front, my eyes fix on her lighter ones. They seem more golden, somehow; the expensive metal more spread, or rather, I probably got the deep brown from my father. Hers seem so bright, like the sun rising after months of the dead of night, the way I would describe victory to look like if it was something physical.

And then, with the golden wreath still dangling in her right hand, the large wings I remember and everything else that makes her the same as me; be it blood, breathing, advanced senses, the way her voice has been both inside me and outside; I feel tension building up. Fastly. Like a Hennessey Venom GT. It is a mixture of frustration, of anger, of incredulity, but most of all: disappointment, that sneaks out of my bones into my veins, stiffening my entire posture again like a wax figure. Before I know it, emotion takes over. Why would she come now? Why now? Could she not hear my tears before, when I was imprisoned? When James betrayed me? Why would she not help him, if she was the caring mother she claims to be? »What do you want?«

A sigh follows my censorious question, a sigh that intensifies the breeze around us somehow, making it stronger, as if she was connected to the nature directly. »Do you got a human to spare? I kind of attract Zeus's attention if I continue to walk around like this.« Her notes are still annoyingly harmonic, still remind me of an early bird's song in the morning and the deep tones of a harp.

»I don't.« I reply sharply, dryly. »And even if I had, respectfully, I wouldn't let his fate end him with something as silly as a Goddess trying to fit in.«

A dark eyebrow cocks, but it is not mock that glistens her eyes; it is curiosity. »You did it a thousand times.«

»Well, I've been newborn and knew nothing but instincts, did I? You know better. Far better.« I snarl, registering that I crossed my arms in front of my chest like a scolded child and unfold them again. Embarrassing. I have far more important things to do right now than chitchat about my mother's urge to kill a human like a fly for her good. For example, saving my own family.

»What I know is that you'd do anything for the man in that bunker.« she replies, as calm as a feather swaying in still air, »And that these words were his.«

»What do you want?« I demand again, getting very confused, and thereby, more frustrated. I know she is kind of right, but it simultaneously does not make sense at all to me. It is like having the fight of two personalities inside me gearing up all over again; where once I thought of Lilith and Nova battling each other, there are now two Nova's, fighting above decisions, above opinions like this one. Nova One, raised by humans, living among them and fitting in and adjusting and loving them, finding friends and inhabiting numerous happy memories with a family, my loved one being human, my children half-human, at least. Nova Two, entirely based on godly instincts. Greek-godly instincts, and I know why people think them scandalous now first hand.