Secretive - Bucky Barnes

11 || Vow

Matthew raises a dark brow, causing his pale forehead to wrinkle, and tilts his head slightly in anticipation. He does not interrupt me, although I fear he might sense something worse than is incoming. »It's like a favor, and before I explain you what exactly it is, I just want you to know that I'm willing to pay you or help you with whatever you need help with as my part of the deal.«

Leaning back in his chair a little more relaxed, a polite smile hushes his slightly pink lips. »A favor wouldn't require payback, and I'd be happy to help you. In the end, it isn't luck that helped me to run from Hydra more often than from bullies when I was a kid.«

Knowing he can sense the mirroring lifting of the corner of my right cheek, I continue. »James will soon receive a letter including a testament; my testament. He will come to you to help getting it through. I hoped you're going to work this out with him.«

»You hoped, or you knew? Because it sounds like the decision is already made.« he grins, the teasing of his tone easing me. »Consider it done.«

I blink a few times in surprise. »You don't want anything for it? I mean, you're a lawyer after all and it isn't like your business is not overloaded with cases. I could get some money for Foggy if you don't want it, or help Karen with some cases if what you desire is their suc-«

»Have you been stalking me, Nova?« The mocking grin never left his features, and I must admit, he kind of reminds me of a teddy bear. In general, not only in the current scene.

»Haven't you tried stalking me?« I ask back, now, too, cocking an eyebrow at him.

We both know he did. And we both know he had not gained much information. Even before I was held captive, the German government did enough not to leak anything on me to the outside. Just like the Winter Soldier has been for Hydra, I have been their ghost story. 

Shaking his head in disbelief, Matthew takes a sip of his water. »You know, you really are something. At the edge of powers, and still so cheeky.« When the glass stands on the table again, he takes his glance from it, directing it to me. »No need for bad conscience. You saved me, well, helped me save myself multiple times. It's the least I can do, especially for someone declared dead. Not that I had expected you to ask me for my official profession, but it indeed is a nice surprise. I'll see what I can do.«

»Thank you.« I say softly, finally continuing to eat.

It is not silent for all too long. »Can I ask you something?«

»Sure. Can't promise to answer it, though.«

»You said that your boyfriend would soon get the testament. Somehow, it doesn't exactly sound like you would pay him a visit, and neither does it sound like you're all too happy with what's going on.« He takes in a deep breath, knowing he crosses the line of privacy there. We never shared much more than possible and actual attacks of Hydra concerning him or the ones he cares for. This is like I was asking him something about Elektra, somehow; I know, he has been with her, but the touch of the topic would likely freeze the warmth we built up over the years. »You've been mad at Steve, and I can only assume it's because he was Barnes's closest friend. So, why don't you... well, talk to him personally?«

I had waited for the question throughout the entire small reasoning of his, and nonetheless, it gets to choke me. Grab my throat with both poisonous hands and squeeze; the mere tightness more than uncomfortable, panicking me instinctively although I know it cannot do much harm, but the toxin is what really brings me to my knees. »It's not that simple.«

»No one said it was, and yet I'm sure you'd do nothing rather than get to him.«

There comes a wave of quietness. Not even the birds outside the window behind me disturb it; his breathing seems to make no noise. I know he is trying to be nice, trying to help me and understand. And after all these years I have been on my own with things I could not even talk to Alistair about, it feels like my heart finally pushes strong enough to ease the weight loaded atop of it, even if only partly.