[Xingqiu x Chongyun] Lost For Words☆

Still so Confused

I lie on my bed staring at my ceiling, I dont feel like even picking up a book.

After some time of starting into nothing, I realized that I had still been wearing my jacket and take it off, along with my vision.

I put my jacket away, and hold my vision in my hands, looking at the golden amber tassel attached.

'Chongyun'

I continue to hold my vision as I return to my bed.

I lie down once again and brush my fingers against the golden fibers of the tassel.

We had had theses for so long, but it still looks just as new as it had when we gifted them.

Well, of course. I make sure to maintain it well, it's not often me and Chongyun actually give gifts to eachother.

'I like you...'

I grip my vision tighter.

It's not like I dont like Chongyun anymore, I just... feel confused right now.

Besides... he wasn't really Chongyun, so it's not like I could just say. 'I like you too!' And then we would be together.

Not when he was crying like that... and not when I had just been so sure that I would get over him.

The possibility of me misunderstand is still there too.

There's even the fact that Chongyun would never remember.

So many things...

'Im not ready'

To face my feelings again? Or to face Chongyun?

'I dont know'

I feel so hurt and frustrated... but arnt I suppose to be happy?

'What am I doing...'

But no matter how I feel, Chongyun should know what happened.

I should tell him. But I dont think im ready to yet. I still feel so. Confused. I dont know how'd I would even act around him right now. It's all so confusing.

Eventually, I decided it would be time for bed. it would be best to get some sleep, even if my thoughts would be racing all night.

I begin to lie down with the golden amber tassel in my hands, and set my vision aside. But sudently, I hear small knock on my window, with a familiar muffled voice, calling out my name.