She's lost In A Sea Of Poetry

My Emotions

Sometimes I wish I could just turn off my emotions. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to feel everything so deeply. When I get mad, I don't just get mad, i get pissed. I burn like a fire. I scream like a microphone. I see red until I can't anymore. I hold onto the anger and I don't know how to let it go. I wanna punch something, I wanna scream at the top of my lungs till I lose my voice and can't scream anymore. When I get hurt or upset I don't just cry, I drown in tears till I can't breathe anymore. When I cry it's like a tsunami or a rainstorm. I'm covered in tears like a flood. When i'm anxious I shake like an earthquake. When I love it's passionate,it's deep,it's real. It's like floating on cloud nine. I go somewhere else. Time disappears. When I'm stressed, i break down. I cry, I scream, and yell till I can't feel anymore.  When I feel, I feel deeply. Sometimes I wish I didn't. When I'm depressed time freezes, nothing matters. It feels like i'm froze. Everything slips away. Feelings envelop me and that's all that matters. And when I'm jealous, i'm not just jealous. I'm angry,I'm sad. i'm vengeful, cruel, and harsh. i'm out for blood,ready to hunt. And when I'm happy it's like flowers bloom. I sing and dance. I laugh out loud like  a child. When I feel, I feel deeply, sometimes too deeply,too much. Sometimes I wanna turn it off. sometimes I just wanna scream until I lose my voice, cry until I run our of tears. Sometimes I just want everything and everyone to go away. Sometimes i just want everything to disappear. Sometimes I wish I didn't have emotions. Or that I knew how to deal with them and handle them better. I try. Sometimes it's really hard to keep myself from screaming or crying or pulling out all my hair. Some days It's hard to breathe the same air as some people. Sometimes i wish i could hit a button and everything would just disappear. All my anger,all my stress, all my emotions would just drift away and they wouldn't matter, none of it would. sometimes i wish nothing did. sometimes it feels like nothing does. Sometimes I just need to disappear for a little while to find myself again,to let everything go. Sometimes I need time to myself to breathe. It can be hard for me to let things go sometimes. My emotions build and build and build until I can't handle it anymore and I explode. But sometimes you have to break,bend,burn, and explode in order for everything to settle. Sometimes you just have to let the dust settle. And this is me, writing, listening to music, trying to let everything go, get everything out and let the dust settle cause I don't know how much more I can take today. I'm so close to collapsing from anger, and sadness, and stress. Sometimes I just wanna disappear,turn my music up and let everything go.so i'm trying. i'm trying to let everything go. but some days are hard. and I just wanna scream and jump and ran away. But it'll be okay.