She's lost In A Sea Of Poetry

Step up to the plate or leave

I loved him. I loved him so much it tore me apart like a sail in a storm. I drowned. He left me hanging onto a life raft all by my lonesome as he swam out to sea. I sat there wondering what was wrong. What had I done? It's not my fault you were so distant,so cold so suddenly. I picked myself up, I steered myself away from your lack of effort, from your silence,radio silence. What had I done? I deserved more,I wrote it on a post it note, put it in a bottle and sent it to you. I deserved more. Where were you? Maybe you loved me, but you didn't know how. I was tired of waiting for a text from my boyfriend of months. I was tired of wondering when I'd hear from you again or see you again. I couldn't sleep,couldn't think straight, couldn't breathe. Sometimes love does terrible things. But he just couldn't, wouldn't, or didn't love me the same way. He lost interest maybe? I don't know what it was. But it wasn't me. It was him. His own problem. He had stuff to figure out. Perhaps he wasn't ready for commitment? I wouldn't know. I never asked. All I knew is I wasn't getting the same effort back from him and I stopped trying to. He said he wanted a break, so I made it easy for him. I was at the end of my rope. I told him, we're over, I'm done. I deserve more. Take your break, have fun, enjoy it, let it last forever, don't come crawling back to me when you miss me. He could've communicated with me, he could've told me what was going on, but instead he shut me out, pushed me away and I wouldn't stand for that anymore. No,not anymore. I gave him chance, after chance, after chance, after chance, and he failed me. I gave him enough. He ran out of chances. I ran out of patience. I ran out of love to give him. I needed to respect myself. I needed to let him go, to move on. There was better out there for me. He wasn't the one. He may miss me but it's not my fault because I was there when he wasn't. I fought when he gave up. He left me drowning, alone, confused in my thoughts. I didn't make a sound. It was proof of what I meant to him. At that point in time, I didn't mean enough. I have left two guys now, who I have been patient with and given second and third chances to, and only after I have completely left, for a very long time, have they missed me and regretted what they done. Anyone who hurts me, sooner or later comes to their senses, they messed up. They lost someone who would've loved them forever, with all her heart and done anything for them. And it's not my fault. They have and had things to learn, and I did and still do. Self respect the biggest one. I was always a big believer in second chances. I always did give someone three or four just to make sure though. Not anymore. A second chance? Maybe. But this isn't baseball anymore. If you can't play to win, you don't deserve me. If you can't stay, can't commit, can't be loyal, can't compromise, can't be respectful, can't be trustworthy and honest, I'm out. If you can't meet my standards, don't bother. Standards exist for a reason and I don't think I'm asking for too much, I don't think I'm being unreasonable. I deserve a lot more than I've been given in the past and I won't take anything less anymore,so step up to the plate or leave.