She's lost In A Sea Of Poetry

A learning experience about heartbreak

I realize now that people don't usually leave other people because of the other person, at least not entirely. The saying it takes two to tango is real. It's no one's fault, at least not often. Some things just happen, and sometimes we spend the rest of our lives answering the question why. Sometimes people just part because they need, because they feel like they have to, like they could breathe better if they did. Often we don't mean to hurt other people, and they don't mean to hurt us. If you've ever hurt someone, it was probably because you were hurting. You were confused,or sad, and you didn't know what else to do but to leave. If you've ever left someone,if you've ever broken a heart, you'll understand. And once you experience a struggle or a pain, once you're on the other side of the story, you understand. When you're heart's been broken and you're beaten and bruised. When you're laying in bed sad and confused. When you ask yourself why they did it, if you've never broken a heart,if you've never left someone alone in the dark,then you won't understand. But once you've experienced both sides of a story,once you've been the heartbroken and the heartbreaker, you'll understand the heartbreaker hurts too. Maybe a little less, maybe they cope better or you think they'll in a better place because they're the one that initiated the ending, but even so, even if that's true, it's not. I've been in a strange place,a strange love story ever since I met him. He's broken my heart at least four times, and I broke his a couple too. I've even broken someone else's, and now that I've been on both sides of the story, now that I've been both the heartbreaker and the heartbroken, I realize people hurt other people when they are hurting. It becomes a mess.  The heartbreaker is also the brokenhearted. They switch places, they dance. The brokenhearted becomes the heartbreaker, and the heartbreaker becomes the brokenhearted. If you've ever broken a heart and if you've ever had your heart broken, maybe you understood what I was trying to say there. You become so broken, so hurt, you asscidently hurt others, and when you do that, you become brokenhearted for having hurt someone else you loved. There's always two sides to a story. He hurt me, and hurt someone else.  He hurt me, and we tried again, and I hurt him. I knew in the past he felt guilty for hurting me. He missed me. I blamed myself. Now after I hurt him. I felt guilty for hurting him. I don't blame myself anymore, I don't blame him, I don't blame anyone. But if after he hurt me I blamed him for leaving, he must blame himself for my walking away now. And that realization makes me want to tell him what he told me months ago, it's not his fault. I just needed to leave. I now have both been the brokenhearted and the heartbreaker and I now realize that both hurt. That both are broken. That they're not so different. That the brokenhearted usually becomes a heart breaker. That they switch roles. That everyone hurts just in different ways. I still believe in the good in people and this is why. But if the brokenhearted doesn't heal,if the brokenhearted doesn't realize this,they may continue to break hearts.
So heal, take your time. Go easy on yourself, and realize that at some point you are going to break a heart (maybe more than one) , and others will also break yours. Both are a learning experience. Both have something to teach you about others, and yourself. Take the lessons with the pain and move on. Frogive yourself and others. You are going to hurt people and they are going to hurt you and that is life, but there are a million lessons to learn from them both. I forgive him, and I forgive myself. I thank  karma and the fact it exists, because without it I never would have learned any of this. It's nice to be able to understand the other side of a story sometimes. It's a gift to be able to understand two different perspectives. It makes you more understanding,it makes you more empathetic, and it in turn makes you stronger, and wiser. It makes you empowered. It makes you kinder. And it's an amazing thing to experience, even if it's painful at first. I understand more now and I wouldn't change that for a second.