Howling Your Name

Chapter 38

I didn't sleep that night. Wishing it was just a dream. Gabi keeps on reminding me for my next session but I didn't listen. I was just seated on the built-in bench in our room and staring blankly at my bed. Or sometimes, imagining Isabelle lying there while reading the devotional book that Nurse Eve gave to her.

It's the day I can't picture yet in my mind. We will be sending Isabelle to her forever's home and also today's my mom's 7th death anniversary. What happened years ago, made a flashback in my mind. The way we celebrated New Year's Eve for the first time without her, shattered my heart into pieces.

Gabi, Kaz, Gorg, Alina, Crista, and I were now dressed in a white t-shirt and jeans. I choose white for her instead of black because I know she's happy out there wandering as she finally unlocked the chain attached to her. She finally escaped the sickness she has!

We waited to the van that Dr. Gera set for us. Crinimate ang labi ni Isabelle. Nang makarating ang van sa parking area nang hospital ay kaagad kaming sumakay dahil bilang lang ang oras namin sa labas.

Ang kumupkop kay Isa na mga madre ay umattend din. I waited for her parents show up but they didn't, I felt sad for her dahil kahit sa huling araw ay hindi man lang nila naalala ang anak nila.

Nagsimula ang pari nang seremonya. Nangako ako sa sarili noong nasa kwarto pa na hindi ako iiyak muli. Pero heto na naman ako. It feels like a déjà vu from seven years ago. Ang araw, ang kirot at sakit sa puso!

Gorg and Gabi patted my shoulder as I'm sobbing like a child.

"Mamimiss kita, Isabelle." Pumalahaw ng iyak si Alina na lalong nagpalala sa pagiyak ko. I hugged her while crying so badly.

"I'll never forget you, Isa." Bulong ko habang hawak hawak ang lagayan ng abo nya.

"I'll keep the memories I have with you in my heart as you are the one who shows what life all about is." Iwinika ko kahit hirap na hirap magsalita dahil sa pag-iyak.

"Paalam, kaibigan!" Gorg said.

"Mamimiss ko ang mga ngiti mo." Kaz.

"You're an eye-opener. Thank you, Isabelle." Si Gabi.

"We will never forget you, Buddy! Ang daya mo nagcheat ka." Aniya ni Crista sabay iyak ng pagka-lakas lakas.

Nang matapos ay kaagad kaming bumalik sa hospital. We washed our hands and changed our clothes immediately.

Pare-parehas kaming pumunta sa kwarto ni Isa kung saan roommate nya si Alina. Tulong-tulong kaming inayos ang mga gamit niya. I've seen a lot of letters on one of her notebook, wishing to enter to one of the best university in college and graduated with a degree.

She wanted to be a singer as well. Build her own YouTube channel once she beat cancer. Find her parents and visit one of her dream destinations, Switzerland. Marrying someone who is well more than her. A God-fearing!

Seeing her handwritten dreams showed me my old self who also used to love writing dreams in notebooks. We have some similar goals in life. I might fulfill some of it once I beat this cancer too.

There were also a lot of crocheted beanies in her drawer with different designs. Itinabi ko iyon sa box!

"The Nuns will get her things, later." Alina said. Tumango ako at nilinis ng maigi ang hinigaan nya. Napahaplos ako sa kama niya. Malaya ka na. Ang daya mo nga, nagcheat ka!

The girl left so much realization in my head. After her funeral, I find myself following all the guidelines given to me by Dr. Gera.

I barely hangout with Gabi on rooftop because I wanted to get better as soon as possible tho hindi pa ako nakakakalahati sa anim na buwang pag-the-theraphy ko.