Howling Your Name

Chapter 44

Senrid became one of my everything once again. Muli ay sa kaniya na naman umikot ang mundo. Whenever I feel sad, he's there at my side joining me all the time.

Paminsan-minsan bumibisita sina Gabi at Diane. They informed last time they visited me na pupunta ngayong linggo si Sofi dito. And I can't help but to feel excited. I missed that girl so much.

"Okay ka na?"

I nodded. Ihinanda ko ang sarili na makaupo sa wheelchair na inaayos niya. Ngayon ang araw ng treatment session ko, hindi ko na mabilang kung pang-ilan dahil these past days ay medyo nakakalimot na ako. And like Senrid usually do for the past weeks, ihinahatid niya ako sa room na naka-assign sa akin at maghihintay doon.

It's very given. It has been explained to me by Dr. Sabier before. People like me usually experience losing memory in a short period of time.

To be honest, I can walk but people around me don't want me to feel weaker kaya pinag-whe-wheelchair nalang nila. Things people around me would do, to someone like me who has nothing to offer back.

"Kalma lang ha," sabi niya matapos akong alalayang maupo.

"Thank you," sabi ko ng may ngiti sa labi atsaka inayos ang beanie na suot.

"Pretty,"

"Thanks," Natawa ako. He keep saying those words like every minute na palagi ko lang idinadaan sa ngiti ang kilig.

"See you," he said and waves his hand at me. I waved back at him before entering the room.

Magiliw na nakangiti sa akin si Dr. Gera.

"Good afternoon, Maliah!" I sweetly chuckled. "Good afternoon, Doc." She stood up from her chair and started fixing the bed where I am going to lay down. 

The type of my treatment is IV infusion, in which the drug flows into my body over a period lasting several minutes or sometimes it took hours na nakakatulugan ko na minsan.

"Check lang natin vitals mo ha," she informed me. I nodded as I laid myself at the bed. Hinayaan ko siya lang sa usual na ginagawa niya hanggang sa nakatulugan ko na naman siya. It usually happens, madalas akong makatulog during session since madalas rin akong makaramdam ng panghihina.

Nagising akong muli sa pamilyar na kwarto, nanghihina as usual. I saw Papsi on my side sleeping. Nang pasadahan ko ng tingin ang paligid ay madilim na.

I search for Senrid but I didn't see him. Bahagya akong nakaramdam ng inis. Nasaan siya? Malalim akong humugot ng hininga atsaka pinakalma ang sarili.

I reminded myself that his world doesn't revolve around me. The guy spent most of his days and time here, taking care of me when he has more important things to do outside and more than me. Maybe he is giving himself a rest as I wanted for him.

"Pa," I called Papsi dahil nakaramdam ako ng uhaw.

"Pa," iginapang ko kamay ko sa nakayukong si Papa, but I was shocked when he suddenly fall onto the floor not moving.

Nataranta ako. Hindi sandali alam ang gagawin!

I weakly shouted his name. Kabang kaba ang dibdib ko. Pakiramdam ko'y umangat lahat ng dugo ko sa ulohan ko. I felt coldness as my tears immediately rushing in my face. Kaagad kong pinundot ang emergency button sa uluhan ko. Mabilis na may tumungong mga nurses sa kwarto na tulad ko ay nagulat din sila sa nakahigang katawan ni Papa sa lapag.

Rinig kong napamura ang isang nurse. Pinanuod ko lang silang inaasikaso si Papa palabas ng kwarto ko habang ang luha'y patuloy sa pag-agos sa aking pisngi. Ni hindi na ako makahinga ng maayos sa sobrang pag-iyak. Wala akong nagawa kundi ang mapaupo sa kama dahil maski ako ay nanghihina rin.