Vents Hidden in Verse

napping.

A/N: oh, whoops. another angsty one. look i made you some content. daddy made your favorite, open wide.

written September 4th, 2021 at 3:50 p.m.

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i don't take naps.
i find them unnecessary.
why waste time that i could be using
in a more productive manner?

i woke up today.
that was my biggest accomplishment
of the day.

6:27 a.m.
i laid against the headboard of my bed,
and let the plastic gems
dig into my back.
they left craters in my skin.

birds did not chirp.
crickets did not sing.
blankets rustled as i shifted my legs.

each hour passed.
distractions became even harder
to come across.

my earbuds found their way to my ears,
like they always did in my times of need.

i think i'm going through denial.
it's been a while, but it's clear when it hits me.

it became clear.

i think i might have gone insane.
i rot my brain, getting high on our history.

i let the twang of the guitars
resonate within my soul.
it knew what i needed
better than i did.

i breathe
and breathe
and b r e a t h e
and breathe and breathe and breathe
and suddenly i'm in tears
and i don't know how i got here
and i just want to sink away...

but how?

my head finds the pillow,
eyes burning from dryness.

i'll do better tomorrow, i promise myself.
my eyes shut.

i don't let myself
fall into slumber immediately.
my mom opens the door,
home from work.

"oh, nong's sleeping. she never takes naps."

yeah mom. you're right about that one.

i let the waves wash over me.
whether i was supposed to feel
the relaxing rocking back and forth motion
or the sudden rush of drowning,
i will never be sure.

i never thought the day would come
where i'd voluntarily choose sleep.