Vents Hidden in Verse

am i too much?

A/N: guys, i have a boyfriend now, wahoo. and with new men comes new insecurity. pretty jazzy, amirite?

written February 18th, 2020 at 9:30 P.M.

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if only you knew
the extent of what i want from you.

these desires echo throughout my brain,
sending chills cascading down my spine
as each thought resonates within me.

i want your love.
unconditionally, i want your love.
i may want other things periodically,
but when i reach the core
of my requests...

i want your love.
i want to feel your love.

i want to reach for you,
only to have you lean into the feeling
instead of immediately retracting.

i want to know every inch of your being,
physically and emotionally.

sorry, am i too much?

i ask all of that above with confidence,
but... i am afraid.

afraid. scared. fearful.

afraid of giving you my all
to only receive minimal back.

afraid of pushing you towards the worse
instead of the better.

afraid of messing up terribly,
altering your view of relationships forever.

afraid of chasing you away...
please stay. at least for a little while.

sorry, am i too much?

clutching tightly
onto each hope and insecurity,
i swerve off of the cliff,
praying to find a soft spot to land.