Vents Hidden in Verse

m.c.

A/N: i felt like... this is something i should write. for someone. might as well!

also, this is going to be a really long one.

written April 24th, 2020 at 12:00 P.M.

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a late night, a wednesday,
as searching took the pain away.
swipe left on tons of guys,
when someone caught my eye.

he can flip...
he can play...
goes by Vee,
so to say.

i scan myself,
with the requirements not met,
i consider swiping left,
but i stopped and said, "BET."

it had been a long night,
no messages, no replies,
"You and Vee are now friends."
only took 10 tries.

i go in for the message,
but i get one first.
i open it, saying, "hey,
what could be the worst?"

the following few hours?
best conversation i've had
for a month in counting.
isn't that sad?

still, i couldn't free my mind
from thoughts of him.
"he's caring and genuine,
yet the slightest bit grim."

"he's older than me,
but it doesn't really matter.
he seems fragile,
and i don't want his heart to shatter."

4:30 a.m.
laying in bed,
the lies of the past
ringing in my head.

"commitment, commitment,
fool, not a chance.
grab him by the neck,
yell, 'hey punk, let's dance.'"

hurting, afraid
that i could never love again,
or i could wish for a future
only for things to end.

his voice called to me
like a siren song.
though i heard no malice...
is there something wrong?

"i'm here for your use,"
thought the shell of me.
but this one only wants love,
which filled my heart with... glee.

"this one's perfect,"
i heard my heart calling,
and that night, i could feel myself
already slowly falling.

we talked and we talked
each night after the next.
my brain swarming with fantasies,
heart thumping with every text.

he told me he loved me
and i started to shake.
isn't this too soon?
is it real? or is it fake?

my head knew already
what my feelings were.
i didn't want to say it,
it all felt like a blur.

next day, i couldn't help it,
and while he sat at the park,
the words spilled out of my mouth,
because i knew we had a spark.

and now here we are!
from fast internet friends
to flirting, interested,
and now boyfriend/girlfriend.

my heart says i'm ready,
my head's getting there,
although he could still kill me...
do i really care?

now that i've met you,
i hate being on my own
i hate staying inside,
cold and alone.

i long for your touch,
though i haven't felt it.
you're definitely unaware
of the energy you emit.

irresistible, charming,
the one i've always wanted,
please don't go anywhere
and leave me a poor soul, haunted.

a future with anyone
other than you
is a future that i
would rather not get into.

so i've come to a conclusion.
i love you, i say.
hope you've enjoyed this, honey.
signed, nattasha cor-BEY