insecure. 🎶

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A/N: do you ever find a song that conveys everything you're thinking? isn't it amazing when it is there when you need it most?

holy shit, this turned to a whole ramble. please enjoy, if you can make sense of any of this.

🎶 currently playing: Boy Who Has Everything by Annika Bennett 🎶

written September 24th, 2021 at 6:50 p.m.

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how do you do it?
everything, all at once.
juggling bands, school, a girl, and friends.

doesn't it get difficult for you?

i lie in bed,
staining my mouth with hot chips.
i contemplate contacting you.

i've been let in.
i know i've been let in.
i know you wouldn't bite off
more than you could chew.

believe it or not,
i was a beautiful thing in a past life.
it is intimidating,
standing next to someone who is so bright.

i'm not running.
i know running from these things
only confirm my darkest doubts.

this has just been a complete flip
from what i am used to.
i am not complaining,
it will just take me a while
to get used to the rockstar lifestyle.

i trust you and your decisions,
do not get me wrong.
the greek chorus in my head
echoes lies upon lies.

this is not a comedy, nor a drama.
i would ask them to exit stage left,
but they claim they have been blocked there.

"what are you to him?"
his girlfriend, of course.

"is that all?"
what does that mean?

please, what does that mean?
bring in the dramaturge.

i've been bred to second guess every decision.
so if i ask you if you of your opinion
time after time,
please go easy on me.
if my anxiety is the asthma,
reassurance is my inhaler.

i'm only making sure.

this rambling leads back to you.
you, you, incomprehensible you.

it's an excruciating joy
to know you are the source
of all of these emotions.

you make me feel.

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