Healing a broken heart

All or nothing

Chapter 109

ELLAPOV

I'm scared today I'm going to get another blood test to see how my blood count is going. To see if the chemotherapy has worked or if I need a second round god I hope not I'm finally feeling like my old self. I'm thinking of doing something slightly crazy and very important.

"Well good morning sunshine."

"Hey babe what are you doing up? usually, I have to wake you."

"Well it's important today and I wanted to make sure you eat I love doing breakfast in bed. Admittedly it's pancakes. I don't cook much babe but I can do pancakes."

"I love your pancakes. They're very yummy much like the man that made them."

"I hope that the results are good but I know they'll be. I can feel it in my bones that when they are we'll go celebrate. I want to go do something I should've done a long time ago, I should've started about eighteen months ago but I've been a bad dad."

"You're not a bad dad. You're a good dad."

"No I'm not babe, I'm always working I never see the kids."

"Babe you work so I don't have to. They love you so much, Stella thinks you're the bee's knees."

"She does doesn't she?"

"Yeah, she thinks you're great but she doesn't get that you're on television she does get excited when she sees you."

"I wish I could see it."

"I'll tape it next time she does it."

"I will. I want to take them to set Stella hasn't seen you as Daryl babe since she was a baby, that would be nice."

"Yeah, it would be babe. Thank you hon."

"Why babe?"

"Because you could be a bitch. About the whole working all the time."

"Hey, that was the deal babe. You work so I don't have to babe."

"Yeah, but you could still be mad about it."

"Babe there are much more important things to be mad about or worried about."

"God I love you. Other girls, I've been with it was always why do you work so much? Spend time with me. You ignore me."

"Well as I said babe you work so I don't have to. You spend time with me and the kids you work hard babe. You don't ignore me. I don't feel ignored."

"God baby. I hope everything goes well today I don't want to lose you I can't imagine my life without you, babe."

"You'd replace me with a newer model babe which wouldn't be far from the truth. She wouldn't love my kids as much as she should."

"I'll never remarry babe if you died."

"Well, then your new girlfriend wouldn't love my kids. You want to know what scares me that scares me babe what if I'm not clear and it comes back? I don't want to leave you and the kids. I know what I said to you about wanting to die but I never wanted to babe I was just in so much pain I couldn't take it anymore."

"I know babe. I know you wouldn't do anything silly babe you're so brave, babe. But if something happens to you I promise the kids will always be my priority not that they aren't now, but you know what I mean. Now come on babe let's get you out of bed and dressed."

We get dressed say goodbye to the kids and head out. Norman wants to come with me in case it's bad news so he can comfort me. We're waiting for the results. I'm fidgeting.