Everlasting Love

Chapter 47

"I can't do this, I can't wait." Derek says as he paces outside the OR, waiting for them to finish her surgery.
"She's going to be fine Derek." Addison reassures from across the room as he wipes his tears and the back of his neck.
"You don't know that. People die. People I love... die." He snaps.
"Derek..." Bailey trails, reaching out for his shoulder.

"What did I do to deserve it?" He asks no one in particular. "Was I that bad of a person to be this damned... she could die today and I didn't tell her how much I loved her, how much I needed her. I lost her once and I can't afford to loose her again." He sinks into the chair and presses his palms to his face.

Addison's mouth opens but Bailey holds her shoulder as he sobs. Blood stains his scrubs and he feels his his skin tingling as Richard walks to them taking off his scrub cap.

"Is Grey okay?" Bailey asks.
When he doesn't respond, Derek stands up. Bailey stares at her boss for reassurance and he shakes his head.
"Tell me that she's fine." The neurosurgeon stands up and nearly chokes on his own words, begging for the man to say something.
"Derek, I'm... I'm so sorry." Richard says, fighting tears.
"No, no. I can't live without her, let me see her." Derek shakes his head and Richard reaches out his hand to touch his shoulder.

"Shep, Meredith is in a coma." Richard says shakily.
"No, she can't be." Derek gasps breathlessly.
"405." Richard says softly.
Derek immediately runs away from the group, determined to find her. Everything would be fine.

He stares at her, completely mortified. Her frail body is laying in the blankets, her hair is a mess and her eyes are closed. Pressing his hand against the glass, he slides it and his mouth opens in shock. The room is filled with the smell of blood and he stops breathing as he walks to her side, hearing the sliding door shut behind him. His legs feel weak as he holds her bed, afraid to reach out and touch her. What if, he held her too tight and she stopped breathing? She wasn't breathing, the machine was.

The steady beeping rang in his ears and he reached out before brushing her hair, tucking it behind her ear. She doesn't move and he can't breathe anymore.
"Oh, Meredith." He gasps, leaning in and pressing his lips to hers.
They are cold and he pulls back before touching his lips that are still chilled from hers. His breathing is short and his mouth lets out small squeaks of air to speak.

"I'm sorry." He pants, rubbing her cheeks. He pulls himself beside her and pulls her into his arms, holding her tiny body.
"I can't feel you." He sobs into her neck and closes his eyes as the beeping fades away, taking comfort in her freezing body.
"Come back to me." He begs, running his hands through her hair.
"Please." He asks, closing his eyes tight.

"Should we wake him up?" Bailey asks.
"No, leave him." Richard says.
He opens his eyes and feels cold again, Meredith in his arms but still freezing. He ignores the doctors in the room and buries his head in her neck, not making any eye contact with the adults.

"Is she getting better?" He asks hoarsely.
"Derek..." Bailey starts.
"Answer the question." Derek seethes.
"No. Shep, she's not getting any better." Richard whispers.
Derek pulls her closer and kisses her head before stroking her hair.
"She'll get better." He nods.
"It's 3 in the afternoon, you've been here for 5 hours." Richard says softly, touching his shoulder.
"She'll come back to me, she has to." Derek whispers.
"You have to change, and shower and get away from here." Bailey says, empathetically for once.
"I can't. What if she... and i'm not there." He asks, holding her frail body tightly.
"Derek her baby-" Richard starts.
"Our. Our, baby." Derek corrects, making Bailey let out a sharp breath of fear and sympathy.
"It's gone... there is no getting it back. You can't help her now." Richard speaks in an undertone of the heart regulator.
"She'll need someone when she wakes up, she doesn't have anyone Richard. I've known her from high school. I loved her then... I love her now." Derek breathes.

"Dr. Shepherd!" Someone shouts and he shakes as his eyes snap back to the OR. His eyes dart around and he looks at the patient in front of him.
"Where am I?" He asks curiously.
"What are you talking about, you've been here for the past few hours." Richard says.
"Can you finish for me?" He asks.
"Yeah. Get some sleep." Richard nods.

He walks out of the room and holds his head, feeling it pounding. Looking at the chart of interns, he sees that Meredith isn't there. He had to find her. Getting in his car, he drives to her house and pounced his fist against the door.

"Meredith?!" He yells, his heart racing.
She immediately answers the door and flings it open as he wraps his arms around her, squeezing her tightly. She is surprised at first but now, she sighs and lets him hold her.

"I had this dream." He says breathlessly into her ear.
"About?" She asks curiously, feeling his tight grip.
"I was losing you. And I can't." He says sharply.
"Does this mean..." She starts
"Im leaving Addie." He says, pulling away. "I'm leaving Addison because I'm in love with you.

"You chose her." She says softly, guilty and nervous.
"Meredith..." He chokes out, "I may have been married for 11 years but I've been in love with you for the past 15. I want you, no matter what happens." He whimpers quietly.

She blushes and looks up at him, smiling. His breath catches his throat and he chuckles nervously.
"I feel like we should do something now." He says.
"Good night." She nods, leaning up and kissing his cheek.
As she turns around, he grabs her arm and pulls her into his lips, panting heavily as he lifts her up and spins her around. Her arms wrap his neck and he laughs as they pull away.

"I love you too, Derek."

The End