Wreck The Game (COMPLETED)

Epilogue - Part 5

Epilogue - Part 5

I sent a short text to my mom. I just told her that I love her because I felt like I found a new level of respect for her... because damn... this sucked so hard. Being rejected by the person you love sucked so hard... And for her to live like this for decades? My mom's an absolute saint.

Some women approached me while I was quietly drinking my beer to offer some company, but I politely told them to leave me alone. I just wanted to wallow in my thoughts for a while. I wasn't the biggest fan of silence because for me, it forces you to think about things you would not ordinarily think about. Right now, I was just thinking about Jersey. Here I was, feeling very vulnerable, and all I got was a hurtful okay.

She didn't owe me anything, sure...

But I also didn't like feeling this way.

I'd go to Japan and recalibrate. I needed to get my focus back to studying. I'd think about this again when I'm already a lawyer. I didn't need this kind of heartbreak in my life. This fucking sucked so bad. I hated this so much. I was not born for this kind of shit.

Tsk.

I looked for some sad songs and played it while I was staring at the moon. I looked so sad. I was sad. I'd allow myself to be miserable right not but as soon as the sun shines, I'd force myself to be okay because I absolutely did not want to guilt Jersey into liking me back. I didn't want to pull shit like that.

"Paano kapag nagsawa ka sa 'kin? Pwede ba 'yung break na tayo pero friends pa rin? Kaya mo ba 'yung ganon?"

I seriously almost fucking jumped from where I was sitting when I heard her voice. I clutched my hand to my chest and then breathed deeply. Jersey sat beside me. I wanted to look at her, but chose not to.

"Why do you always jump to breaking up?" I asked.

"E sa ganon naman talaga uuwi."

"Do you have a time machine? Can you see the future?" I asked because I really didn't appreciate her lack of faith in me. I thought... I thought I already showed her that I was here. But apparently, it wasn't enough. I just didn't know on what part I was lacking still.

"Kunwari lang."

"Fine," I answered, deciding to humor her. "What if we really end up together? What then?"

"Yung posible kasi."

"Is it impossible?" I asked because she sounded serious when she said she thought we wouldn't end up together. Why did that sound like a farfetched dream when I was right here with her at this very moment?

"Oo."

"Why?"

"Kasi ikaw 'yan." I looked at her with confusion painted all over my face. Jersey hugged her knees close to her chest. She looked so... down. Why did she think so highly of me because I seriously didn't deserve that. "Ikaw 'yan. Si Nikolai Ferreira. Mayaman. Gwapo. Mabait. Sino ba ako?"

I drew a deep breath and looked at her while she still wasn't looking at me. "Jerusha Leigh Lorenzo," I called her name. "The first woman I actually confessed to," I said, but she just laughed at me in return. My forehead was in deep crease again. Did she think that I just confess to everyone I like? I liked a lot of girls and women in my lifetime, but never liked them enough to actually confess.

I practiced a lot for that confession.

I got an okay.

And then she laughed at my face.

This one's for the books.

"Fine. Ikaw, okay lang sa akin, pero ano ang sasabihin sa 'yo ng mga kaibigan mo? Ng mga magulang mo? Ng mga kakilala mo? Ng mga—" She said and then stopped when she noticed that I was not saying anything and I was just waiting for her to finish with this fucking ridiculousness. I knew it was a valid concern of hers, but if she knew me at all, she'd know that I didn't give a flying shit about those people's opinion. They're not the one living my life so why would I care about their say in how I live mine? "Ano?" she asked, sounding nervous.