Choices II

~ 09 ~

Phana took a deep breathe to control his temper from flaring, as he saw his father throw insult after insult at him. Why he thought so lowly of him, Phana could just not phantom.

"Can you please stop and talk like an adult?" Phana said seriously, he had never been the one to talk back to his father but he is done being the perfect son. Both is parents looked at him, his mother's expression was surprise while his father's furious.

"I have done all that you have asked me... I am not even saying no to this arrangement – all I am asking is why suddenly? Why don't you trust me? Why you are so sure I would go around sleep with men... and even then what is wrong in that?" Phana asked calmly, he had no idea where it was coming from, but he had had enough,

"You have grown enough to defy my orders?" his father grunted as he cast another look at his wife, "you are behind this aren't you... is this what you are teaching him?"

"Leave mom out of this please" Phana continued, "I am not defying your order, but I do believe I am grown enough to at least try to understand your point of view"

"I don't have to explain anything" his father grunted, "You are getting engaged in couple of months... and that's it" he walked away leaving Phana stunned as he muttered "I don't want you slutting around ruining the chances for Pete and Ten"

"Why am I never enough ma?" he asked his mother softly, "I mean ... he can hate me – but I should at least know why he hates me"

"He doesn't hate you" his mother said as she ran her hands through his soft hair, "he is just worried about you... about what will happen to you. You know how our family is... how they are at each other's throat for a small sign of weakness"

"So, I am a weakness...." He got up, "but why only me? I mean ... what am not doing right. I am trying my best in school, keep up in this society, being the role model for my brothers... taking care of my friends... I play the role in all our board meetings, diligently work to ensure that dad remains the chairman... what am I not doing right?"

His mother teared up, she could see him in pain.

"I am sorry... it is my fault" She hugged him, "You are as perfect as perfection can be my boy... I truly am sorry... you have a useless mother and a heartless father"

Phana hugged her back, another reason why he took it all in silence – he could always see how it killed his mother. He didn't want to cause her more pain that she already is in.

Phana pulled back from her and got up, "am tired ma... why does he not understand. He is no better that Beam's parents in some ways. I need to leave before I say something that might hurt you". He ignored her call as he got into his car and started the engine "I will call you tomorrow" he told her as she watched him pull back "I will be okay... just take care of yourself"

More he thought more he became furious... for his dad to have just assumed that he sleeps around with people... he was a fricking virgin!!! He had never been in a relationship. The whole conversation with his father replayed in his head again and again as he drove back the same night to his dorm.

Another fact that annoyed him was that his father seemed to be concerned only when he was with other men – like how much of a homophobe an educated person, a doctor can be?

Phana pulled the car into a stop as he screamed his lungs out as he punched windows on his side until the glass shattered. In blind range he started driving back without thinking where he was going and not long after he pulled into parking lot of an all too familiar building.

He pulled out the phone dialed an all too familiar number and asked "is your offer still valid? Can I take you up on it now?" when a sleepy voice answered,