Choices II

~ 18 ~

"Thanks" Phana said softly as they got ready to head back to their dorm, "this was not what I expected but was much better. I am glad you took me here". Ming smiled, "and am glad you agreed to join me"

Ming couldn't help but look at the older who was busy cleaning the campsite as he loaded their vehicle, he didn't want the day to end. "Are you hungry or can we head for another small trek... there is a beautiful viewpoint nearby"

Phana straightened up as he looked at the other, "sure why not... it is not like we have anything planned after"

Ming smiled as he loaded the truck quickly and then he helped Phana with cleaning. Once done, they both started to walk in the direction Ming was guiding them "how many times have you come here?"

"a couple of times with my parents" Ming said, "trust me... it is worth the trouble!"

"More trouble" Phana huffed, "if it is like anything yesterday.... Am turning back"

Ming laughed as he turned and extended his hands, "oh come on... it will be fun".

Phana looked at the extended hands, he can turn it down it is not like he cannot walk but he wanted to be held and guided, so when Ming was about to pull back, he placed his fingers in those wide palms and instantly Ming linked them together.

"Do friends hold hands like this?" Ming asked as they continued, "friends don't have sex like we did either" Phana said mostly to himself, but Ming heard, "so we are more than friends?"

"But we are not boyfriends" Phana said, "we certainly are not dating"

Ming's heart was in this throat, "can we not?" he asked softly.

"I cannot afford to be gay Ming" Phana said, "I have a lot to consider... and you should know more or less my marriage will be fixed"

"But..." Ming started but Phana pulled his hand out, "I am sorry... I honestly thought we can be friends, but I now see we cannot... we have long burned that bridge"

They both stood midway, "Phana... you said you cannot afford be gay... not that you are not gay" Ming said, "what the hell that is supposed to mean?"

"I am not a carrier, neither are you... and clearly I see that you would want to dominate" Phana's ear turned slight red which the younger didn't miss. It made him coo internally despite the fact they were having a serious conversation.

"Think about your family... I have a lot riding on me being the first born... I need to lead by example to my brothers, I need to ensure that the board doesn't use me to overthrow my dad... corporate is a dog-eat-dog world Ming... it is complicated. I am sure your family would want the same for you too, you said you are only son, will you be okay crushing your parent's dreams and hopes for you?"

"Nowhere in that long dialog you once mentioned you don't like me... or you don't want to date me" Ming folded his hands as he watched the other stutter, struggling to form a proper response.

"I like you... Phana" Ming emphasized, "I have not thought that far ahead in future, but I know this... you are special"

Phana just turned back and walking towards their campsite... he was in a fix; he had no option but to ride with the one who's confession he had to turn down. If only he can make it to the park entrance... he can then maybe get a cab or use public transportation.

His mind was racing when Ming caught his hand and pulled him to a stop.

"don't overthink... I can still drop you" Ming sighed as he watched the conflict of emotions the taller was going through, how suddenly his eyes were very vulnerable, but Phana shook his head, "that is not fair to you"