Caim

54| why?

Miliani's POV

"did you really love him?" I asked, looking up at the sky filled with glimmering stars and a beautiful full moon. the moonlight illuminated the pages of the book I was holding in my hand. Romeo and Juliet.

this book holds so many bittersweet memories, the days when Layla would give me the flowers, late-night recitals, and playing Romeo and Juliet while reading. each moment is engraved inside every page of this book. the day when Caim told me to read it to him, when I fell asleep on his lap, when he gave me his jacket. this all seems like so much time has passed.

one star twinkled, as if answering me. maybe it was Layla telling me that she really loved him. my hand slipped between the pages of the hardback, the papers were coarse after being touched so many times. Romeo and Juliet was a love story both Layla and I loved and I think that's why we both fell for the same guy who reminded us of Romeo.

Caim is a betrayer but a very charming one, you could never interpret his deception until it's done and the truth is out after too long. he smashed her window and gave her the necklace in return which was a sweet gesture for Layla and as for me I fell for him the moment he came inside my house and literally swept me off my feet to somewhere safe. it was magical but I didn't know that the catastrophe before the magic was caused by him too.

"I know it's wrong but I love him too." I whispered lowly, my lips wobbled from how hard I was pretending to stay strong. "but don't worry....I won't betray you"

I closed the book and placed it on the table beside the window. pursing my lips I looked up at all the stars and the moon, staring down at me with so much light.

"you've always been my pillar, the only person who didn't judge me when I ate butterscotch ice cream with the vanilla flavor" a small breathy chuckle left my lips. "why did you go?" I gulped.

"Why did you leave me Layla?" the airbrushed my hair back "it still hurts that you're not here. it hurts so bad that somedays I just want to sleep and never wake up. I don't know..." I closed my eyes before resting my head against the wall behind me "I don't know how much more I can handle this...this guilt, this remorse, thi-this pain, it's driving me to the brink of death"

"I really need you right now" I swallowed my still-beating heart, down my throat. my throat was hurting from swallowing so much grief.

"mom and dad still believe that it was me, they haven't talked to me since the day you left us." bitterness was gripping at my heart from recalling what happened that day. " but I swear Layla, I swear...if I knew what was happening I would've taken those bullets. I would've happily died instead of you" 

It feels so lonely sometimes, I have Karl and Ailey but  it just feels like I'm alone in a room full of people. It only stops when Caim is there" saying it makes me want to curl in my bed and sleep. i don't how or when I gave Caim the liberty to own my happiness.

"I don't know what to feel anymore, should I stop loving him because you loved him? "I curled my lips. "I am trying to hate him" i sniffled " I really am but its...its just so difficult. how can you hate someone that owns your heart?" 

"but I won't betray you like that. I know I can not love him, its wrong. I cant do this to you" I wiped at my nose. I was feeling hot, my eyes were burning, throat hurting. I tucked back the stray pieces of my hair, sticking to my face because of the sweat.

my eyes landed on the book again and I lost it, I fucking lost the battle with myself. The day when I was wrapped around him while I read this book, when I fell asleep in his arms, when I felt safe after two years. how can I not love him?

"I am sorry Layla" I hiccupped "I am so sorry"

"I love him" I whispered.

Caim has my heart from the beginning, it was just so easy to offer it to him. like giving him something that belonged to him in the first place. " I love him Layla, I love him so much. I want to forgive him and forget what he did to you and I but I also want to hate him" my heart was hurting.

" i want him gone from my life because every time i see him, it feels like someone is stabbing me over and over again... and i-i am bleeding." this time I couldn't help but feel my eyes getting wet. 

" everything before was so good" I wiped under my eyes "loving him before was so easy" 

"Even small things would make me happy when I was with him, He would make me laugh with his non-comical jokes, cry when he would say something beautiful. The way he always rested his head on my stomach saying its very comfortable. The way he loves to snuggle when sleeping. Everything about him made me happy." I shake my head.

"I want to let go of all these memories but cant do that. I cant erase something  that is imprinted under my skin." 

"please, i cant take this anymore. he hurt me...he fucking hurt me and I want to hurt him bad" i tossed the book. every flower, every note inside it was on the floor, along with my heart"

"He hurt me" I whispered.

"And the thing is that I don't want to hurt him back"

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Hello lovelies,

I hope you all are doing well. please don't come at me for posting such a short chapter. this scene has been playing in my head ever since the revelation of Caim being the guy Layla was in love with.

Miliani is a complex character to write, she wants to love everyone but her own insecurities are stopping her. she loved Layla but she died. she loved Sean but he betrayed her and when she fell for Caim, he too Lied to her. now her mind is completely flooded with the insecurities from her past.

Tell me what Miliani is doing, wrong? loving Caim, even after knowing her sister Loved him too, wrong?

And if this chapter could've been better?

Please vote and comment❤

until next time.