Caim

43 | insanity lives inside.

Miliani's POV

Insanity often comes at people in different forms, some name it as anger and some gets high on it with substances never made for humans. Everyone experience insanity in some part of their life, wrapped up in different sentiments. It dissolves with emotions like a miscible liquid, you can never tell apart what is what until they are completely dissolved in you. And the person experiencing it never fathom until it fucks them up and wrecks them down.

For example, when anger is mixed with craziness it makes the best people hungry for blood, if red colour is anything to go by, it would be a person grasped into the clutches of anger with just the right amount of crazzines. Now mix fear in it and it becomes the deadliest combination of sociopathy. We all have these emotions, some wear it on their sleeves and others relish in it by doing exactly what their emotions desire, all inside their brain. Our mind is a carrier of feelings, but it's always our heart that triggers them.

Maybe thats why Sean betrayed me, his mind was filled with darkness, which seemed to consume him whole until there was nothing human left. There was a point where I equalised Sean as a victim of bad childhood and difficult upbringing but what I never anticipated was his true colours to peek through, Sean was a fox in a disguise of a broken boy.

So when he finally showed his true decisiveness, I didn't feel sad, it was like I had it coming and Instead I felt all the anger and crazzines inside my brain, begging to be let out. it was crafting into a dangerous weapon. I was afraid of Sean, still am but when I think about that night, my brain screams for me to kill the person who broke my family. I thought cruel things for the guy that I once loved, I prayed his death, I felt selfish but it was a pleasure I wanted to see with my very own eyes.

Insanity can make a human worth less than a penny.

The clock ticked above me, each second felt two seconds late. It was a never ending saga, time never stops for anyone but it can be slowed down when you want it to pass faster, time's a bitch.

I was waiting for Caim, he was currently riding with Lucas, while Ailee dropped me and Karl. Kylie lived just few roads down the hospital so she decided to walk, she was the first to leave; saying her grandma needed her. Why was I waiting for him? Because apparently he need to talk to me, my mind raked through every possible cause as to why he wanted to talk to me, but nothing jumped forward. And since, our conversations have never been normal, I guessed it won't be any different. So I braced myself for his words.

It was a quite evening, the sun was slowly going down and I'd have only two hours before I have to leave with Ailee for our little girl's night. She was adamant on taking me out, saying I really needed to relax and have some fun since I've been stressing too much these past few days. I agreed, as I agreed on the relax part, I've been having these constant nightmares of that day, they weren't frequent like before but I'd have one whenever I felt too stressed or out of myself. It tires me out to wake up with a constant headache and sweat coating my body. Not to forget the silent Whispers of Layla crying out for help.

Finally when the clock hit a quarter past five, someone knocked on my front door. Sprouting up from my place on the chair, I half walked half ran towards my door before opening it. there stood the guy who has been ignoring me for the most part of this day, his back was towards the sun so the rays created a shadow behind him. The brown of his hair, shined and appeared almost golden. I was mesmerized and awestruck, how can someone look so beautiful.

"Are you going to invite me in?" He asked, as if I need to. He's been in my house without my permission, do I need to remind him of that? Still I stepped aside and motioned him to come inside. He did and when he turned around slightly the sunrays fell down on his face and damn, I could easily say that I've fallen in love with a masterpiece. His eyes sparkles like water in ocean when sunrays fall on it. The sparkle that intrigues you to go there and touch it. I suddenly have the same desire, to just look into his eyes and let myself go. But even if his eyes created a heavoc in my heart, I still need to ask him what he wanted to talk about.