Caim

09 | cry

Miliani's POV

"He texted me last week saying that he was coming to California," I said with a monotone voice.

"It started when we had our movie date, I got a text from an unknown number saying he misses me. I ignored it thinking it's a prank but the texts continued. I had my suspicions on who it could be but I didn't think of it, I was too scared to even let that thought came to my mind. But in the end it was confirmed that the messages were from sean." I said as a tear trailed down my cheek.

" Why didn't you tell us," Karlos asked from beside me. We were currently at my house. Karlos was sitting beside me on the bed and Ailee was seating on the floor. Her face was grim, matching Karl. After that whole confrontation thing, Ailee and Karlos took me home so I can tell them everything, thankfully Caim didn't asked me anything about the texts. He simply looked at me and nodded, like he understood it was a personal matter.

"I didn't know what to do, i-i was scared and didn't want to tell anyone, I was afraid that telling you guys would make it real, I wanted to think of this as a pr-prank. Ailee he got arrested 2 years ago, I saw him with my own eyes, sitting in that police car with his hands cuffed. I never heard anything about him after that. It made me believe that maybe he has left me alone but he hasn't " I sighed and clutched my hair. It still sends chills down my body, remembering that night.

Karlos squeezed my shoulder in a comforting manner. Ailee stood up from the floor and hugged me followed by Karlos. These two are the only family I have left, my mom and dad left me after that dreadful night and I never got the chance to know about their whereabouts. It made me feel like I was never loved, that I was never needed. I swallowed the lump in my throat and hugged my best friends back. My eyes burned from the unshed tears, I held them in as much as I could.

It's the worst feeling to hold the emotions from flowing out, making a barrier between the reality and you, because sometimes reality lies. It lies to your face, making you believe in things which couldn't happen. I was always a practical person, thinking from my mind than my heart, it made things easier and reality was my favourite sport to play, it fascinated me how our life has so much in store for us. The chapters would unravel slowly and surprisingly, some would hurt and some would make the reality dreamy and some turns your whole life into a never ending nightmare.

I have experienced everything. From living my life like a perfect dream to praying to every God to not let anyone have a life like me. It was always either happiness or despair and my life leaned more towards the negative aspect.

Earlier, it was easier to show emotions and be an open book. If something made me happy I would smile and keep it in my memory to cherish. If something made me sad or hurt, like a rejection from crush or failing exams, I would cry and won't eat for a day, it was simple. but after that night, it changed, I changed, for the worst. I now know how to keep my emotions locked inside, to not feel vulnerable and weak. Weakness led me to my own destruction, made me a victim of something which will always taint me. I was a victim as well as a culprit. is killing someone a crime? For some people it isn't, was I one of them? I don't know.

Right now I was trying very hard to bottle up all those emotions, emotions which were begging to come out but I held on. I'm not weak and I will not let him scare me anymore. He has ruined most of my life but I can't let him do it once again. He changed me for the bad but I'm still me. I've heard somewhere that broken crayons still colour the same. Is it true for everyone? If it is then I still have some Miliani left in me.

It's still very hard, almost impossible to even say his name. All those horrible memories rip me off from sleep. Her screams still haunt me till this date. The sight was so sickening, it made my gut twist. His sadistic smile and the blood, they were the constant reminder of my mistake and I wish I could change that.