Oooooh! Shiny

Part 30: The loser of all losers

-Gary: Manliest of Men (at least that's what his mommy and daddy said)-

Getting to Cinnabar Island, Gary looked around, trying to spot the dumb riddle hotel that he knew had Blaine's Secret Gym. He had paid for the information from some guy at the Port who, while seemingly touched in the head as the man wouldn't stop snickering during the sale, had shown video evidence of the secret Gym. It had taken all the money Gary had managed to win in the few battles he had succeeded at but he now knew where to find a secret Gym so he could earn his fifth badge.

The sound of loud construction drew his attention as he turned and saw a massive new building being built, a smoking hot redhead standing outside and giving orders to the foreman. Deciding he could afford to treat himself to a hot woman, he stepped forward and slapped her ass, "Heya toots, what's going on here?"

Instantly, the woman had an angry Arbok coiled around him and hissing. "Listen here you disgusting little shit." The woman scowled down at him with an absurd amount of fury, but Gary had no idea why she was so angry, "Don't you ever dare touch me like that again or even think of calling me 'toots'." The woman gave a disgusted shudder, "And if you must know, the Island's new Pokémon Gym is being built."

"New Gym?!" he blurted out even as the Arbok still had him wrapped up tight, "What about the Secret one Blaine has?"

"You heard about that death trap?" the woman raised an eyebrow, "Yes, Blaine did have a secret Gym inside his volcano with the arena literally hanging over a pool of magma but now he has been arrested for insurance fraud, tax evasion, and cheating the league. I'm Ariana, the new Cinnabar Island Gym leader." Gary was slack jawed, focused on the indignity of that fool at the port daring to sell him outdated information. Sell it to some random loser if he had to but nobody cheats an Oak!

"But I need my badge!" Gary rages, trying to wriggle free from the Arbok to no effect.

"I have a field set up over here for trainers wanting to challenge me while the Gym is being built." Ariana shrugged, leading him over to an open field "Lets battle and get this over with. I need to make sure those idiots don't ruin the construction."

"Go Blastoise!" Gary sent out his water type the moment he was released, knowing the island gym was supposed to be the Kanto fire gym.

"Go Pansear." Ariana sent out a tiny little monkey as Gary laughed.

"That's all you're using? This will be easy! Blastoise, use hydro pump!" Gary commanded using all the regal authority he could muster.

"Blast." His started groaned exhausted but only a trickle of water came out.

"Pansear, ember." Ariana ordered as the weak fire attack hit Blastoise who tipped over and fainted. "That was pathetic. Your Blastoise was clearly in poor condition. When was the last time you took your team to a Pokémon center?"

"I don't need any stupid Pokémon centers!" Gary snapped, "Those dumb ass Nurse Joys don't deserve to be in my presence if they can't appreciate the honor of an alpha male like me showing interest!"

"You disgust me." Ariana sneered down at him, "I'll be reporting this to the league. You're likely to lose your license Gary Oak."

"Shove it you hag!" Gary snapped, returning his useless starter, "My grandpa is the regional professor, they'll never take my license away!" stomping out of town, Gary set up camp and went to sleep after eating some food he had swiped from a noodle stand, his team hadn't won so they didn't deserve dinner. Leaning against a tree, Gary fell asleep, unaware of his team letting themselves out to have a meeting with each other.

-The next morning-

The smell woke him first, followed by the wet sticky feeling. Eyes shooting open, Gary let out a totally manly and not at all high-pitched scream at seeing his entire body covered in Pokémon shit, the pokeballs of the five Pokémon he had managed to catch smashed on the ground with the Pokémon nowhere in sight. "You traitors!" Gary raged at his team abandoning him. Him! The trainer who had taken them in and looked after them. "I'll get you for this!"