GYU18
My body felt numb and weak as my eyes fluttered open to the usual four cornered white walls. Once again, I'm here.
I could still feel the physical pain from within like it's breaking me slowly. Ramdam ko ang matinding paghinga at pananakip ng dibdib.
Una kong nakita ang lalaking nakaupo sa tabi ng kama ko. He had his forehead placed firmly on my bed. Ang kamay niya'y nakahawak sa kamay ko ng mahigpit.
Hindi ako makagalaw ng ayos pero nakuha ko pa ring igalaw ng konti ang kamay ko. Nag-angat siya ng ulo at umawang ang labi nung makita akong gising.
"Fio..." humigpit ang hawak niya sa kamay. "How are you feeling?"
I tried to utter a word but I couldn't. Gusto kong umiyak dahil nandito na naman ako. The place I hated the most. The place that gave me nothing but stress.
"Nandito na naman ako." Napapikit ako ng mata at inalis ang hawak niya.
Cadrein stared at my hand before sighing.
"You shouldn't have brought me here." My eyes remained closed, hoping all of it is just a dream.
"There's no place safer than the hospital. I was scared you'll have that attack again, a few years ago..."
"Hindi mo na sana ako dinala dito. Pinabayaan mo nalang sana ako." Tiningnan ko siya bago dahan-dahang napapikit.
Nanatili siyang nakatitig sa akin bago ngumiti ng sarkastiko.
"You think I'd let you die? We're not together anymore, but I still care for you. I can't let you die in my arms." binalik niya ang hawak sa kamay bago ito hinalikan.
Kung pwede sanang matuluyan kanina'y sana nangyari na nga. Kahit pa naipagpahinga ko ang nangyari ay nakatatak pa rin ito sa isip. Jax's words were repeating in my head like a broken record. I wanted to know the truth directly from him, but I'm afraid to know it too.
Alam kong hindi ako dapat nagpapaniwala ng hindi alam ang buong kwento. Pero sa ngayon, alam kong malaki ang posibilidad na totoo nga ang narinig ko.
He used me. He made me his weapon to get to her. To hurt her.
I knew Beau has always been the kind of person to get back at someone for hurting him. Minahal niya ng totoo si Chelsia. He gave her everything, only to know that he was used to cover up her true desires.
Pero bakit ako? Dahil ako ang mahal ni Chelsia? Dahil ba alam niyang patay na patay ako sa kanya, at mapapahulog niya ako agad?
And I did. Hard. I fell so fucking hard.
"What happened? Uminom ka ba sa party?"
"No... and it's none of your business," walang gana kong sagot.
He sighed. Bumitaw siya sa kamay ko.
"The doctor said... if I was second late about bringing you here, baka hindi mo na daw kinaya. It was another attack—"
"You shouldn't have brought me here."
Cadrein's forehead creased. "It's your birthday, Fio. Bakit mo naman hihilinging mamatay sa birthday mo?"
I closed my eyes shut, praying my tears won't fall this time.
"Because I'm tired of living, Cadrein! Pagod na akong bumalik dito! Tapos magiging okay, tas hindi na ulit. Ano ba ang mali dun, ha? Hindi mo alam kasi hindi mo naman nararanasan 'to!" Bumitaw ako sa kamay niya. I looked at him with teary eyes. "You told me before that I was tiring to be with, because of my condition. Bakit hindi mo nalang ipagpatuloy 'yon?!"
