Chapter 67
Four-cornered wall. All white. Busy feet. Never ending groans from the nearby rooms. The horrible smell of alcohol all over. And the pain of waking up knowing that this is not just another incongruous juxtaposition. The pain is live and real—in flesh, and it happens continuously, as though there’s no end for it.
Last night, I dreamt about him. He was lying close to me and he was holding my hand tight. He whispered goodnight before I fell into a deep slumber. But when I woke up the next morning, he was gone again. Paulit-ulit na ganoon. Hindi natatapos. Parang walang katapusan. Because the truth of the matter is that, when we lose someone, it’s not the goodbye that hurts the most. It’s the memories that follow after that. It will always be the nostalgia which will make you long for the past that has been critically damaged.
“Gising ka na pala,” wika ng isang pamilyar na tinig. Hinanap ko kung kanino ito nagmumula.
“I . . .” My weak voice kept me trailing. “I want to go home.”
“Althea, you need to take some rest. You’re hospitalized for extreme fatigue,” Mitch explained. “You’re emotionally stressed,” she emphasized. She held my hand and gently massaged it.
I’m not sure when I was admitted but it felt like forever already. I shouldn’t be here, though. It should have been a vacation leave, not a sick leave. Shame. Seoul was a fail. My weak body betrayed me. Or should I say that my heart failed me again?
“Pumasok ka na sa work. I can manage this,” I said. Their boutique is yet to open this December, somewhere in Posh District. She’s been busy with all the preparations and her work as a part-time magazine writer. And here I am, trying to mess up with her busy schedule. I’m such a burden.
“Sure, you can,” she sarcastically said, with a roll of an eye. “Tumawag na ako kina Tita kagabi. They said they want to fly going here,” she added.
“And?” I feebly replied.
“I said you’re not going to like that idea.”
I breathe out and thrust my lips. She knows me so well.
A deep silence took place after my inaudible sigh.
“Mabuti na lang at hiningian kita ng duplicate copy ng susi mo. Baka kung ano na ang nangyari sa iyo kung hindi ako nakarating agad.” There was certain worriedness in her voice.
“Sayang,” I nonchalantly replied.
“Althea, tumigil ka nga!” she yelled.
“Calm down. I’m kidding.”
“No. It’s not funny! Hindi mo ba alam kung gaano kami nag-alala para sa’yo? Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko kagabi. I was worried to death. If you only know how much I almost died while waiting for you to wake up, you wouldn’t say that.” She frustratedly ruffled her hair. “Please, magkaroon ka naman ng concern sa feelings namin. Huwag mo naman kaming i-take for granted. You’re too focused on your pain, and you’re starting to hurt us. When will you wake up from all of these?”
