That night, I wallowed over my broken heart. I didn't sleep. Sinubukan kong aliwin ang sarili ko, pero hindi ko pa rin nagawa. Churros, All Time Low and Ian Somerhalder did me no good. I felt like I was a hopeless case. I didn't call anyone. I just sat at the other side of my bed, wrapped around my blanket, and wondering whether I could still get any better the day after.
I had an intuition that things will go wrong, and I was right. My hunch never fails me. Too bad that I got it right. I guess I was wrong when I thought he let me down, because we both did.
Today is February 12, 2014 and we haven't properly talked yet. Four days have passed. Four days of ignoring his calls and messages.
At ten in the morning, while I was having my late breakfast at the Office, I posted a Facebook status.
"Don't tell me to fight, to fight for you. After this long, I shouldn't have to."
I don't fear posting this one. First, because I'm not friends with my colleagues, so, they won't see it. Second, my schoolmates know my kind of music, and they would just think that this is just me being a heck of a junkie. If ever some people would come across this line, maybe they will assume that I'm currently listening to Fallout by Marianas Trench. This would be just normal, nothing. A random one. Unless . . . unless, you're my friend.
I've got few notifications from my squad minutes after. Nauna si Mitch. It was a private message.
"Psst."
I seenzoned her. She sent another message, a crying sticker, I ignored her again. After my witting negligence towards her, my phone was bombard with a lot of messages. Lahat galing sa mga kaibigan ko. Even Ran asked if I was okay. I said I don't know. He asked if he can pick me up later after work since he's going to run some errands at the Office, but I declined the offer.
Because my Facebook is being barraged by them, I decided to turn off the chat. Pinatay ko na din ang mismong phone dahil hindi ko dala ang charger ko. May reunion pa akong pupuntahan mamaya at baka maubusan ako ng battery.
I'm grateful that the eleventh floor has too much to offer. I had bubble tea and waffle for breakfast. I was a bit frustrated that they don't have churros here, but the waffle sufficed—it's brown anyway! Sounds fair.
Pagkatapos kong kumain ay nag-toothbrush ako at nag-retouch. Dahil nagkaroon na ako ng bangs, hindi ko na masyadong iniintindi ang kilay ko—medyo natatakpan na kasi. I just put some blush on to give my face some alive colours. I had pink cheeks and lips to bring some rosy effect. Then, I was okay. Back to work.
Hapon na nang i-meeting kami ng aming Training Manager. She already told us about the agenda but she hasn't completed the details yet because she's too busy.
Yinaya ko na sina Fin papunta sa meeting room. Kabado siya at kanina pa hindi mapakali. Habang para akong isang patay na bata dito sa may tabi. Humulas na ang make-up ko at lahat pero laging ang komento nila ay ang lamlam ko daw ngayong araw na 'to. I shrugged and told them I'm just tired. Minsan kasi nakakapagod magpaliwanag, lalo na sa mga taong wala namang alam sa buhay mo.
"Baka exit interview," komento ni Pauline. Uh, no. First week of March pa matatapos ang internship ko. I'm not even ready to end yet.
"Last week of February pa ako, eh. Hindi naman siguro," answered Fin. "Ano sa palagay mo, Hontiveros?" she asked me.
I shook my head. "Hindi ako mapalagay," malamig na sagot ko.
She giggled playfully and said, "Halata nga. Noong Lunes ka pa. Problem, wanna share?" she offered.
