Chapter 73
One of the hardest decisions a working professional has to make is to choose to put his responsibilities as an employee first over his personal interest.
And making one is a torture, especially when we're talking about work over All Time Low concert. I still couldn't move on about it. It was beyond horrible. I felt like my dream was crashing right before my very eyes, in slow motion. I wept and even begged for the schedule to be moved. I shared my sentiment to our head, yet I was rejected. Pakiramdam ko hindi ako makahinga nang banggitin niya ang tungkol sa trabahong kailangan kong gawin sa araw na 'yun. Tuyo ang aking lalamunan habang pilit na lumulunok sa sobrang sama ng loob. There were horrible sounds of wrecked fireworks inside my chest. Amidst the smoke was my hope of seeing Alex slowly vanishing right before my very eyes. And words are not enough to explain how much that hurts!
Nakakasama ng loob. Nakakapanginig ng laman. Ang sakit, sakit, sakit sa puso. Pero kahit gustuhin ko mang mag-reklamo, hindi ko magawa.
Nangingilid ang aking mga luha habang nakakumos ang aking mga palad. Nanatili akong ganito hanggang matapos ang aming usapan. Nang sabihin niya na ang detalye ng masamang balitang iyon, dumiretso ako sa ladies' room. And there, I cried and screamed my heart out. I didn't care if some people thought that I was weird or whatever. I need to let that one.
And that didn't end there. The continuation happened when I got home. Nagkulong ako sa kuwarto at naglamay kasama ang kama at unan ko. Gabi na kasi ako nakauwi at natutulog na si Jasmine nang makarating ako kaya nag-ingat ako na hindi siya magising. Kailangan niya kasi ng mahabang pahinga. Galing pa sila sa ospital kanina ni G para sa monthly check-up niya. Kaya tahimik na lamang akong nakinig sa mga kanta ng paborito kong banda, habang humihikbi.
Ilang minuto lamang, nakarinig ako ng yabag sa labas. Nasundan ito ng katok sa pintuan. It was a bit like of those with the horror movies with all the screeching strides-I know so, because I'm not that destitute with the knowledge of that even though I don't watch such. Again, horror is never and will never be my style.
"Jillian, okay ka lang?" she asked.
I slightly stretched my arm and breathed. "Okay lang. Uso lang sakit sa labas. Climate change," sagot ko. I know it's bad to lie, but it's even bad to burden someone because of my sentiments. I hate making someone worry because of me, and unexpectedly hitherto, I still haven't changed that.
"Sure?" she inquired again, her voice a little groggy.
It was my fault. I woke her up with my drama. I can feel the guilt slowly scraping behind my spine. "Yes, of course. Matulog ka na, Min. Masama ang nagpupuyat," sambit ko. Look who's talking here. Sino kaya ang hindi pa rin nakakahanap ng antok dahil naglalamay pa siya sa kaniyang kalugmukan, ha, Jillian?
"Okay," she said-in a very low tone. Then, I listened to the sound of her footsteps. When I was sure that she's gone already, I stood up and prepared myself some hot milk.
Madami na ding nagbago kahit halos magda-dalawang linggo pa lang siya dito sa akin.
And to be honest, there are times that I would have to nudge my own elbows to remind myself that I am no longer living alone. But I keep on forgetting to remember that. Her indoor slippers would always be my constant reminder for that. I'm thankful that she has the habit of leaving those outside her room.
Maaga na rin akong umuuwi-depende na lang kung talagang paspasan na ang trabaho sa opisina. Isa pa, palagi na ding may totoong ulam sa hapag-kainan. I officially bid my goodbye to century tuna and lucky me noodles. Thanks to Jasmine who always cooks great dishes. She said she learned all of those because she's been independent almost all her life. Nagtrabaho din kasi siya dati sa isang karinderya malapit sa elementray school nila ni Renz back when she was still in high school. She became an assistant cook there. No wonder why Alec and she immediately clicked with each other.
