Chapter 77
Sa pagkakatanda ko, kakaayos lang ng aircon namin last month kaya imposible naman na ganito kasama ang pawis ko dahil lamang doon. Paniguradong magwewelga si Guian sa may-ari ng building dahil maiinitan ang kaniyang mag-ina—palagi na namin siyang inaasar na tatay na hilaw dahil talagang pinanindigan na naman niya ang pagiging ama.
"You okay?" Jasmine asked, while looking at me—the sweat all over my neck. I've been tucking my hair at the back of my ear to keep it from falling but it won't help. I look like I clipped a ten kilometre lapse.
Pinaypayan ko ang aking sarili. "Nahihirapan akong huminga. Ewan ko kung bakit," I reasoned out. Actually, I wasn't. Because that was the truth—partly, tho.
"You're nervous," she said. A diffident smile escaped her. That was a meaningful one, by the way.
I walked past by her, and paced back and forth. My feet can't be tamed. My hands are all over my head.
"Me?" I shook my head. "Why would I?" Makikita ko lang naman siya in a few hours after two years. No big deal.
It was lame because anxiety could be seen writ large all over my face.
Umupo ako at hinawakan ko ang aking tuhod. Just the fact that I'm going to see him cracks my senses.
Pinilit kong kumbinsihin ang sarili ko na maliit na bagay lang naman na makita ko siya. I mean, it should be nothing right now. After all, it's been two years. A lot of things have already changed.
"All is well. Keep your cool, Hontiveros." I kept on pressing that into my head, but it never obeyed. Stubborn as its master!
Lumapit ako sa electric fan dito sa tabi ni Stef at hinarangan ko muna ito para mahanginan ang katawan ko. Nanginginig pa rin ang aking mga paa nang tumayo ako. Mabigat ang aking mga mata. Tuyo na din ang aking lalamunan.
Hinawakan ko ang aking pulso at pakiramdam ko nagwawala ang lahat ng ugat sa aking kaloob-looban. Hindi ako makalma. Ilang tubig na nga ba ang naubos ko mula kanina? Naumay na ako kakabanyo, pero hindi naman iyon ang problema.
Baka tama si Jasmine. I'm just nervous. Because if I'm not, then why am I so disturbed? After all, I shouldn't be this maladjusted. Excited, perhaps. He's still my friend, anyway. Any friend would be excited to see an old folk go home after a long while, right? I snort at my false pretense.
"Maybe I need a shower," I said, more of talking to myself. Tumayo ako at nagpunta sa aking kwarto. I saw my babies staring at me.
I placed Pinggu on my lap and bear on my left side. "You kind of miss him, did you?" I told the bear. Glad it didn't answer. "I did, too. Well, not quite. Because I still do." I gently brushed their fur and put them back on their specific areas.
Kinuha ko ang tuwalya at naligo na ako. Baka mainit lang talaga.
Paglabas ko ng kwarto, nakabihis na ako. I'm wearing my ripped jeans, plain white shirt, partnered by a cute owl necklace and chucks. Because I blow-dried my hair, I was able to put it in a floppy half bun, with dangling fuzz on the side. Congratulations, I look like a human.
"Nice! Para kang Korean model ng isang clothing line," komento ni Jasmine nang makita niya ako.
"Salamat, Jasmine. Napakatapat mong kaibigan. Natutuwa ako sa'yo," I said, laughing. I love hearing comments from Jasmine more than Mitch. Because when she sees me with my style, all she ever does is mock my innocence when it comes to fashion. Who set the standard on what to wear and what not to, anyway?
I breathed deep and fished for my phone. I sent Mitch a message and put it back on my bag.
Pababa na ako.
