Too Good to be Bad | Negan |

17 - Look who's making new friends

During work the next day, I keep going back and forth about talking to Negan. Pamela's talking to me, but she doesn't require much more than an occasional 'Yes', 'No', or 'Is that so?' so I get plenty of time to maul it over.

I'm sure he won't be open to cutting the deal completely. He's done everything he promised when we made our deal. I doubt he'd appreciate it if I didn't. But maybe just maybe, he might be open to giving me a little more time. And maybe if he does, we can figure out a way to get out of it. At least, it would give me some more time with my friends before I dedicate myself to him. Ugh, the thought of it makes my skin crawl. Even if a tiny party of me is a little curious what it would be like to be with him. Because that kiss we shared right here in the laundry room has a nasty habit of replaying in my mind. But if I do take it further, I want it to be my choice. Not because he made me his wife. Not because he owns me.

That evening after dinner, I gather all my nerves and make my way to Negan's room. I know the way, even though I haven't been back there since those first days. It's in the same hallway as the doctor's office and I've been there a couple of times now. I climb the stairs to his floor, but I'm only a few steps into the hallway when a male voice stops me.

'Hey, you!'

I turn around to see a tall man walking toward me. By his bossy demeaner I gather he's a Savior, so I lower my eyes and wait until he gives me permission to speak. I'll definitely never get used to this.

'What the hell are you doing here?' he asks.

'I wanted to talk to Negan', I tell him. Although I'd rather tell him it's none of his business.

'Look up.'

I do as he says and look him in the eye. He's quite attractive, actually. His hair is black, but his eyes are piercing blue. He's muscularly built and doesn't seem to be much older than me.

'You got an appointment with Negan?'

'No.'

'Then what are you doing here?'

'I told you, I wanted to speak to him.' I make an effort not to show my annoyance.

'You think anyone can just come up here to talk to the boss like that?'

I shrug. I don't see why not, but I keep forgetting everybody here treats Negan like a God.

'Workers aren't allowed on this floor unless they have been given permission. Do you have permission to be here?'

'I don't know. I didn't know I needed permission.' I'd been here before to see the doctor. But Negan knew about that, so he must have informed his guards.

'I'm sorry', I add. I've already learned it's easier to give in to the Saviors than to argue about their stupid rules. 'How do I get permission? Can you ask him if I can come talk to him?'

'He's not here right now. But I can tell him you wanted to see him. What's it about?'

About begging him for more time before I become his wife, but I can hardly say that, can I?

'It's um... private', I say, already convinced that's not going to be enough.

As I suspected, the guy sniggers and raises an eyebrow.

'You gotta give me more than that.'

'You know what', I say, smiling rather awkwardly. 'Never mind. It's not important, I'll just go back.'

This isn't going anywhere, so I start to turn back. I've seen Negan walking around the building here and there, maybe I can catch him some time to talk to him. But before I can leave, the guy stops me.